As reliable as any (2/2/04)

Today is Groundhog Day. It marks the halfway point between winter and spring. As cold as it has been lately, any groundhog that voluntarily comes out of his hole now is likely to be insane.

I make an exception for that most famous groundhog of all, Punxsutawney Phil, who lives a life of comparative luxury in the Punxsutawney library.

That poor creature is lugged out of his nice, warm home and taken to Gobbler’s Knob where he is placed in a “heated burrow underneath a simulated tree stump on stage” before he appears to look for his shadow.

It’s a wonder he doesn’t nip anybody. Maybe that is why he has “seen” his shadow 93 out of the last 116 years.

He might just pretend to see his shadow for revenge at being forced out into the frigid weather before dawn. Or maybe it is so cold that he sees his breath and only thinks its a shadow. Of course, a cute, cuddly creature like Phil would never do anything so nefarious … would he?

One source says Phil’s prediction is accurate 100-percent of the time. This is the same source that maintains that there is only one Phil and he has been around since 1887 when this little production was first begun. Is it any coincidence that this information comes from Phil’s official website?

A different source says Phil only gets it right 39-percent of the time. Either way, he has about the same accuracy as most other weather forecasters, human or not.

Did you know that more than 35,000 people are expected to brave the frigid temperatures to watch a pampered rodent being hauled out of a fake tree? I get cabin fever this time of year but never so bad that I would travel to a little town 90 miles northeast of Pittsburgh to see an animal many people consider to be a pest the rest of the year.

Don’t get me wrong, I like groundhogs. They tend to mosey along minding their own business. Occasionally they will stand up and look around then go back to eating grass or whatever other vegetarian delicacy they can forage. (Phil gets to eat ice cream and dog food.) They are big enough and common enough that I could actually see them when I was a child. I was so nearsighted that anything smaller than a woodchuck was practically invisible.

The worst thing most of them do is dig holes in the most convenient places to catch a human foot.

We had one living in our back yard one time. It was live and let live until he started watching remodeling shows. He decided to add on to his home by building additional entrances – lots of additional entrances. We enrolled him in the groundhog relocation program for his own protection. His new home had a waterfront view and lots of open fields. He grumbled and tried to bite as a way of showing his appreciation.

I don’t think it matters much whether Phil sees his shadow or not. Winter will hang around longer than we want it to. Spring will arrive just about the time we have given up hope that it will ever come. Groundhog Day is as much about breaking up the dullness of winter as it is about guessing how much longer the cold will last.

The best thing about Groundhog Day is that no presents are required. No cards, no flowers, no big meals and certainly no traveling is expected except for those hearty souls who insist on seeing Phil in person.

The rest of us can watch the prediction on television in our cozy homes or read about it in the newspaper. That’s my kind of holiday. Besides, there’s always hope that Phil will predict an early spring before going back to his nice warm library for some ice cream.[[In-content Ad]]