Care Bears or pink flamingos? (9/20/04)

The scraggliest cactus I own is now displaying fantastic frilly flowers but only at night. The weather has begun teasing us with a few chilly evenings and the trees are beginning to shed their brilliant greens for eye-catching reds and yellows. A few of the houseplants have already been repotted and brought inside. Others are awaiting the purchase of ever-larger pots. All of these signs can only mean one thing. The autumn equinox is near and it’s time for some serious shopping.

We all have our rituals that signal the end of summer. An over-abundance of tomatoes and other fresh garden produce makes its way to our dinner tables until we think we never want to see any more of the stuff. Cider appears in our drinking glasses. It used to be time for fresh cracklin’s but I haven’t had fresh cracklin’s in decades as we no longer have a half of a steer to trade for half of a hog.

As the seasons change over the years so do our traditions. Now instead of savoring the fresh apple cider bottled by a neighbor, I start fretting over what to buy for the rash of September birthdays.

I have already acquired the requested Care Bear sheets for my youngest niece whose birthday is in a few days. I need to find something for my son-in-law’s birthday and get it in the mail this weekend. If only he liked Care Bear sheets the shopping would be much easier.

Plus I should pick up a present for my mother for being so brave during her recent hospital stay and another something or other for my nephew who is having surgery Monday. Oops, I almost forgot that angel of a sister-in-law who runs Mom to many of her appointments. Her birthday Is coming up also.

The sister-in-law is the easiest. She has similar tastes to my daughter and likes craft items or clothes. I can never repay her for all the good she does for Mom so whatever tokens I find will have to do. Or I could just give her the present I intended to give her for Christmas. So much for being ahead of the game!

Little boys are also relatively easy to buy for. He is at the age where I can get toys and books that are still affordable.

The son-in-law is another matter entirely. I don’t know him well enough to know what treats he will like. Do I buy tools? Will he use them? How about computer games? No, he works in a computer store and can get whatever computer things he covets.

Clothes? The last shirt I bought for him was too small and if I get one too big he will be insulted. He already thinks I don’t like him. He doesn’t need to think I believe he is fat also!

What do men consider to be toys? If only he would take up golf.

There are always plenty of golf doo-dads to be had. He hunts and has requested hunting stuff but I am opposed to hunting as sport and refuse to subsidize it by purchasing rifle scopes and other implements to aid in destruction of innocent wildlife.

I have no idea what his taste is in music or books so anything I would offer there would certainly be the wrong thing. I doubt if he would consider a Chopin CD to be any more appropriate than the complete works of Robert Frost .

There are lots of camping choices in the stores. He hunts. Does he also camp? I don’t know. It’s hard to get to know someone’s like and dislikes when you only see them once a year.

Maybe he would like some pink flamingos to put on his lawn? I was leafing through a catalog at lunch and one of their offerings was an assortment of pink flamingos with clothes for each season and holiday of the year. I can just see his face when he opens that package!

Obviously pink flamingos aren’t the answer. Do you think I could talk him into Care Bear sheets? Probably not. In that case, I will just have to see what jumps off the shelf into my cart as I am wandering aimlessly down the aisles this weekend.

Wish me luck.[[In-content Ad]]