Does anybody really know what day it is?

My calendar is messed up. We celebrated Halloween a couple of weeks ago so as far as I am concerned the day celebrating the dead and undead is over for this year. So why are all those decorations still around? We are just now receiving crayoned entries for the newspaper's annual Halloween coloring contest. Do all those pumpkin pictures mean I am wrong about the date?

Two weeks ago I tried to attend the book club meeting that didn't occur until last week. This weekend I started Christmas shopping, which is something I usually put off until the last minute. Today I found out that my niece, Jane, has finished a marathon. Aren't marathons run in the spring?

We also attended our first symphony this past weekend. It was a wonderful experience and I can't wait to do it again but the only time we go out in the evening other than for food or building supplies is at Christmas time. It isn't cold enough to be Christmas.

When I was a teenager we had a party or some other event every evening between Thanksgiving and Christmas. Have I gone back in time? Nope. The person in the mirror obviously hasn't been a teenager for quite awhile. I suppose that's a good thing. I could never keep pace with today's youth.

The crab apple tree that insists on growing beside the driveway has blossoms on it. Mother Nature must think it is spring. So why are the fall asters in the height of their glory? The tomato plants are almost dead so it can't be spring. Still . . . there are those apple blossoms . . .

Won't somebody tell me what month it is?

I first noticed that my calendar was off this spring. I mark holidays by what is in bloom. For example, lilacs bloom on Mother's Day and peonies flower on Memorial Day. They were each about two weeks early this year. In spite of that, this summer lasted a fortnight at best. When I was a little girl summer lasted forever. Do we really think time is a constant? Or was Einstein partially right - instead of time being relative perhaps in reality it speeds up the older we get. If that is the case then I better get started shopping for my infant grandson's graduation present before I run out of time.

In spite of my inability to read a calendar I can still read a clock. As I said earlier, I wasn't sure what week the book club met, but I was on time. I also seem to be on time for work so it must be my calendar, not the clock that is off. I'm sure my boss is glad of that.

My daughter will tell you that my calendar has been off for years. She is used to getting presents early or late; usually late. That is partially her own fault as she will open packages as soon as she gets them instead of waiting for the holiday so I don't dare send them early.

I also can't tell what season it is by what is on display at the stores. I have seen Christmas decorations in June and bathing suits advertised in February. I take that to mean that nobody else knows what season it is, either. Plus stores seem to skip certain holidays like Thanksgiving. All Thanksgiving is to retail establishments is the day before Black Friday - the day mobs descend on the stores.

Since I am calendar-challenged lately I will undoubtedly show up on the wrong date but I will be on time. By the way, what month is this?

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