Don't worry about what other people think

A young girl I met a couple weeks ago was concerned because some of her friends were talking about her behind her back. She wanted to know what they were saying and was upset that they might be saying something less than flattering.
I tried to explain that everybody talks about everybody else; that it doesn’t matter what other people think; that it is impossible to make people say and think only what you want them to.
She didn’t buy any of it.
I have never been one who cares what other people think. People think what they want to think. People believe what they want to believe, People say what they want to say. It is impossible to control any of it.
A wise man once told me that no matter what kind of person you are there will always be somebody who doesn’t like you. I have found this statement to be true.
Pretty people get gossiped about. Famous and not-so-famous people get talked about. We all talk about each other and at least some of what we say is less than accurate. Sometimes we all say mean things about other people. Sometimes we repeat information that we believe to be factual but in reality bears no relation to the truth.
None of it matters. We can be wonderful, caring people and someone, somewhere will believe with all their heart and soul that we are lacking. Even Mother Teresa had her detractors.
Obviously I am still searching for a way to convince this girl that she is a good person; to get her to believe that what she thinks of herself is far more important than what other people think or say.
I could fall back on the old cliche that actions speak louder than words but I can see in my mind the look of disdain that she would give me.
I believe that most of us would be surprised at what other people say about us. I firmly believe that we are far less interesting to others than we think we are. Most of us are more interested in ourselves than we are in other people.
I may look in the mirror and see that my nose is too big or that my hair is too straight. Others may look at me and think, “I hope she doesn’t notice that my lipstick is the wrong color or that my shirt is the wrong brand.” They couldn’t care less about my straight hair or anything else about my appearance.
But when you are young and trying to figure out who you are, what other people say about you is important. When you are unsure how you feel about yourself, other people’s opinions matter.
The thing is that friendships and groups are fluid. One is included one time and excluded the next time for reasons that are capricious at best. If one can manage to maintain a sense of self and not take it personally then it becomes less important to be included every time.
Ultimately what a person believes about themselves and how they act towards others is what matters. What other people say is irrelevant. Now how do I convince her of that?[[In-content Ad]]