Enjoy family and food and Thanksgiving feasts (11/21/05)

Tra-di-tion - 1. an inherited, established, or customary pattern of thought, action or behavior; 2. the handing down of information, beliefs, and customs by word of mouth or by example from one generation to another without written instruction.

By any definition of the word, Thanksgiving is a holiday steeped in tradition. The problem is that everyone’s traditions are different.

This becomes most apparent on the very first holiday one spends as a married person.

The woman who always cooks ham for the feast invariably weds a man who must have turkey for the meal to be complete. They then add a brother-in-law who insists on serving fresh venison that he murdered just last week, a sister-in-law who is a very vocal vegetarian, a toddler who won’t eat anything green and a dog who lurks under the table waiting for scraps.

The dog is the only one who is guaranteed not to pout.

The side dishes are sure to please only the ones who brought them. Oyster dressing is considered a vital part of the dinner by half of those in attendance (including me) while the rest of the crew considers it to be repulsive. At least one person will ask, “What on earth did you do to those green beans?”

The other vegetables will also be subject to turned up noses by several of the younger ones. Not even the mashed potatoes will escape ridicule. The health-conscious ones will decry the pound of margarine floating on top of the bowl while the purists will refuse to even taste the spuds because they are obviously instant.

Simple cranberry sauce is another source of difference. My family favors the canned stuff. So what if it is a little slippery and sometimes misses the plate as it slides out of the can. That’s the way it’s supposed to be. Rinse it off, put the bad side down and it will be fine.

The lumpy variety made with fresh cranberries is not to my liking. First of all it takes way too long to prepare and after all that work most of it is leftover anyway, so why bother?

Even dessert varies from family to family. We always had various pies for dessert when I was growing up. Pumpkin, custard and sugar cream pies were very common. Then I got married and was introduced to pecan pie, that overly sweet concoction that my husband loves. It doesn’t look at all appealing to me. My daughter’s in-laws prepare a selection of both pies and cakes for dessert. They make enough to stock a small bakery. I have never thought of key lime pie or Coca-Cola cake as being very traditional but they are delicious.

The one tradition that seems to transcend families is that the women and girls get to clean up the mess. The menfolk retire to watch television and at least one or two will take a nap, I mean “rest their eyes.”

Doing dishes is a small price to pay to be able to catch up on family gossip. It is a time to find out that cousin Joe finally has a girlfriend or that little Sara is all grown up and has a part in an upcoming movie.

Women talk about their spouses, children and all of the people in their lives. The chatter that goes on in the kitchen is about those who matter most to us — our families.

All of this is part of the tradition of Thanksgiving. Somewhere along the way we remember to give thanks for the blessings we have received throughout the past year.

Just having the family together is a blessing in itself. Everything else is superfluous. Specific foods and football may seem to be essential but they really aren’t.

A walk after dinner is nice but so is realizing that on this one day you are surrounded by people who love you even if they don’t always like you. If you have a roof over your head and reasonably good health then you have more than a lot of people do.

So be grateful, pig out, relax a bit and catch up on family news, for tomorrow we shop![[In-content Ad]]