Looking for volunteers to build umbrella

The paperwhite narcissus I received for Christmas are getting ready to bloom. That can only mean one thing — January is almost over and tomorrow begins the longest month of the year.
What? You thought February was the shortest month? I beg to differ. Even though it has the fewest days of any month, those days seem to last forever.
I am trying to figure out how to build an umbrella big enough to cover at least a 100 mile radius around Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania so that panicky, pampered rodent known as Phil won’t see his shadow on Feb. 2 and predict another six weeks of winter. It seems like Groundhog Day is the only day in February that the sun shines. Even then it only shines on Gobbler’s Knob long enough for Phil to see his shadow. The rest of the month is gloomy at best. Even the sun dislikes February.
Phil, the groundhog, seems to have a fondness for winter. Out of the last 114 predictions on record, Phil has called for an early spring only 14 times. That’s easy for him to say. He lives in luxury in a library and never, ever has to shovel snow or pay the heat bill. Maybe if he did, he would call for an early spring more often.
There is hope, however. Even though Phil’s entourage insists that Phil is always correct the StormFax Weather Almanac and other records kept since 1887 give Phil a 39-percent accuracy rate. That means that most of the time he is wrong, wrong, wrong.
I still think we should all get together and build a giant umbrella to block the sun around Phil’s prognostication pulpit just in case he is right this year. An early spring would be nice.
I realize that cold is necessary for a good display of spring tulips, daffodils and other welcome flowers. I realize that snow is a good insulator and helps keeps bulbs and plants from heaving themselves out of the ground. I know that the colder the winter, the more I appreciate warm weather.
I just don’t like it at the time.
If Phil were a normal groundhog he would sleep right through the celebration. Groundhogs usually hibernate until March or even April. Of course, most of them don’t live in libraries, either.
Instead of worrying about what Phil will predict I should be grateful that the flowers in the house are getting ready to burst into bloom and bring me a little bit of the spring I yearn for.
I have more bulbs stashed in the artificial winter called the refrigerator. Every couple of weeks I will bring one out into the light and warmth to wake up. In a few weeks they will fill the house with their welcome fragrance. Just about the time they finish blooming the flowers outside will be unfurling their leaves and I will finally quit whining about the cold weather.
Now, who wants to help me build that umbrella to make sure Punxsutawney Phil doesn’t see his shadow this year? I wonder if the artist Christo is available?[[In-content Ad]]