Menacing the neighborhood cats

Mine was not your usual Fathers’ Day.
We were on the road for one thing, having driven down to North Carolina for a family wedding. There were phone calls from all three daughters, and there were cards and presents.
But one gift stood out.
I got a slingshot.
Now, every 63-year-old guy needs a slingshot, right?
We’re not talking about a heavy-duty, serious slingshot.
We’re talking about a piece of wood that’s been cut into the right shape, then had a few slits cut into it to hold the over-sized rubber band. As technology goes, it’s rustic. But it’s still pretty cool.
It’s precisely the kind of slingshot that would have been confiscated by my teachers back in school, the kind that cartoonists like to show sticking out of the hip pocket of some mischievous kid like Dennis the Menace.
So why do I need a slingshot? Why, in fact, had I hinted that it would be a cool Fathers’ Day present?
Simple answer: To keep the stray cats away.
We have, at any given time, three to five bird feeders in the back yard. And if you attract birds, you attract cats. Hungry cats. Hunting cats.
So far, our strategy has been to toss an occasional pinecone at them and yell, “Scat!”
But that only works intermittently
The slingshot now shifts the strategic advantage in my direction.
Sitting on the patio, with a supply of acorns or buckeyes at my disposal, I can send an occasional shot in the felines’ direction.
My goal isn’t to hit them. In fact, with a slingshot this primitive, accuracy is an afterthought.
Instead, I just want to make them feel a little less welcome.
Besides, when it comes to things that shoot a projectile, I’m pretty much inept. I’ve always been more of a gatherer than a hunter. So far, I’ve been able to launch things in the right general direction.
Just the same, I figure that a buckeye zinging past now and then will be enough to convince the neighborhood’s abundant cats to hunt in their own back yards and leave our birds alone.
And I promise never to take my new toy to school.[[In-content Ad]]