Much thought goes into baby name (10/3/05)

I was talking to my daughter the other night and she was commenting that if her unborn baby is not a girl as they are expecting, she will have to change its name from Emma to something else. I suggested “Emmett” as that was as close to “Emma” as I could think of. Her reaction was a definite and resounding, “No!”

I pointed out that Emmett Kelly was a very famous and beloved clown but she was having none of my nonsense. I’m glad. It would be hard for the child to be an Emmett when the rest of his contemporaries would be Jacob, Michael, Joshua, Matthew, or Ethan.

I’m glad she hasn’t decided to name the baby after any of her ancestors. Can you imagine the grief a child would take today if it were named Harley or Hubert? Levi may be perfectly acceptable around here, but in Houston, Texas it would be as out of place as a horse-drawn buggy on I-10.

Merl, Berthena, Doris and Isriah are some of our matriarchs. I thought at first that Isriah was a variant of Isiah until I found out that she was female. I have never heard of that name before. It only goes to show that people have been coming up with unique names for a very long time.

All of the appellations that were considered for this baby are currently popular. At one time she was going to called “Isabell” or “Olivia.” “Emma” seems to have won the name game for now.

On the other hand, we never considered anything other than “Elizabeth Ann” for our daughter. It didn’t occur to us that every Christmas she would be called “Bethlehem” by her classmates. No matter what a child is named someone will figure out a way to turn the name into something the child hates to be called.

Personally, I despised it when we sang “I’ve Been Workin’ on the Railroad” in music class. For weeks afterward I would be called “Dinah” and asked to blow my horn. It happened every year. It was almost as bad as having my grandmother call me “Diner.” Yuck.

None of that was as frustrating as what my Great-grandmother Eva called me. She insisted that my name was “Freddy,” and that my mother had thrown Diana in the ocean and drowned her. We lived in Dayton, Ohio and none of my family had ever seen the ocean, let alone thrown a baby into it. I must have been three or four at the time and remember getting very upset and insisting that I was really Diana. The old lady was at the end of her life and obviously senile. I guess I looked like a little boy who should be called “Freddy.” Unfortunately that is the only thing I remember about her. I sure hope Emma (or whoever) remembers more than that about me although I have no intentions of calling her Freddy.

Even if we name our children something we think is unique, there are sure to be several other children with the exact same name in their school. I thought my nephew, Jadyn, had an unusual designation until I heard a stranger at the mall call her grandchild by that name. Emma may not have been a common sobriquet when I was growing up but it was one of the most often used names for little girls last year.

I am forever grateful that the fad of naming children things like “Moon Unit” is over. I am also grateful that my son-in-law has a normal last name so the child will never be saddled with something like “Sandy Beaches” who was a former co-worker, or “Forrest Robbins,” a schoolmate. Whatever the child is called, its name will evoke feelings of love and protection. Just saying her name will make us smile. I’m looking forward to meeting her in a few more months. Then we will know for sure what she is to be called.

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