Never too old to write to Santa (12/18/06)

Dear Santa,

It has become traditional to write a letter to you each year. I suppose I'm a little old to be writing to Santa but here goes anyway.

I'd like to say I was good all year but I would be lying. Sometimes I was grumpy, grouchy and generally unpleasant. Other times I like to think I'm nice to other people and animals. So could you please stop by my house this year on the off chance that I'm having a good day? You'll know it's my house by the bedraggled ribbons on the front porch.

Santa, I want so much from you this year. I want to be surrounded by happy people who enjoy life as much as it should be enjoyed. We are so fortunate to have roofs over our heads - so what if they leak from time to time? We are lucky to have an abundance of food so much so that we no longer fit into clothes that were purchased just the previous year. Many people in this world are not blessed with such riches.

I also want the impossible - I want a return to simpler times when it was safe to let our children roam the streets. While we are on the subject of children, I also want to be able to guide an errant toddler back into his or her yard without having to worry that someone will think I'm some kind of child-molesting pervert. I absolutely do not want to be able to understand child-molesting perverts. They are perhaps some of the sickest souls on the planet.

I also want to be able to buy a bottle of pain reliever without having to fight to get it open. I am tired of layers upon layers of packaging designed to ensure my so-called safety. Those who made this necessary should get a lump of coal in their stockings this year. Granted, I don't want to go so far back as to have to dip pickles out of a barrel at my local general store but still enough is enough.

I want toys. Lots and lots of toys. I understand electronic toys are popular this year. I don't consider that kind of gadget to be much fun to play with. I prefer toys that engage the mind or spirit. For example: new measuring cups that haven't had the markings rubbed off would be welcome. I can't bring myself to purchase replacements because the old ones are perfectly serviceable.

I used to think kitchen doo-dads were poor gifts as they implied work. Then my mother-in-law introduced me to wonderful trinkets such as tea balls and hard boiled egg timers. The latter are glass things that are dropped into a pan with water and eggs and they indicate when the egg is perfectly soft or hard boiled. No more trying to make egg salad with half-cooked eggs. It is a marvelous invention.

Plants and anything to do with them are also considered toys. If I can play in the dirt and make a mess then I am as happy as a kid with a refrigerator box. I know these things aren't expensive but they are what I like.

I also want the people who brought Christmas boxes to my mother and other senior citizens to know how much their efforts are appreciated. So please Santa, bring these people lots of whatever they consider to be toys.

Help us all to connect with the history and traditions behind this holiday season. While I firmly believe in Christmas and all that implies, I realize that there are other religions and other beliefs just as valid as my own. So as one last request I ask that you give me tolerance and acceptance of those who choose not to believe in a baby born in a stable.

Santa, one last thing. If a third grade teacher insists on having students write to you please don't let him or her correct the grammar. If a child wants to insist that the plural of deer ends in an "s" then it doesn't hurt anything to leave it that way.

Thank you in advance.

Your friend,

Diana

age unknown

P.S. Please pet the reindeer for me.[[In-content Ad]]