New mom back to work (03/20/06)

Today is the first day my daughter is back to work after the birth of her first child. Her husband is watching the baby and actually thinks he can get a lot of things done around the house while she’s gone.

I’ll pause now, while those of you with children laugh knowingly.

Granted, the baby isn’t big enough to be getting into stuff yet but she certainly is big enough to scream for hours at a time because she misses her mommy. Plus, she really hates taking a bottle. She much prefers the way her mommy feeds her. This ought to be really interesting.

Why is it that even though they both are Emma’s parents only the father “baby-sits” his own child? Is it that women are taught to think of their children as part of themselves as they were during pregnancy and men see them as separate entities? Or is a hold-over from the June Cleaver days when child-rearing was left up to the mother while the father escaped to earn a living?

Of course, those were also the days when families lived closer together. Grandma either lived in the same house or at least in the same town as her grandchildren. Mom worked at home. There were also lots of siblings around to help with the chores.

Speaking of siblings, my daughter is lucky that she has plenty of in-laws and other family nearby to help out when she needs it. Her sister has promised to stop by just to make sure that Daddy and baby are getting along and not driving each other crazy. Still, I am looking forward to hearing how baby Emma’s day went. My son-in-law is big enough to fend for himself.

I am fairly certain I know how my daughter’s day was. I remember how I felt when I went back to work after she was born. I had gotten used to having my time to myself and suddenly there was no time for anything at all. When I was at work I wanted to be with my child. When I was home I felt like I should have been at work. It was a no-win situation. Plus there was the constant exhaustion to deal with. Being a grandmother is much better. There’s none of that guilt to deal with.

Many women don’t have a choice whether to work or not. If they want a roof over their heads and food in the refrigerator then they have no choice but to be employed. A job outside the home has the added benefit of an actual adult to talk to. No matter how much you love your child, at some point you want to have a real conversation with an honest-to-goodness grown-up person.

Even though I expect that there will be a period of adjustment for all involved, I’m equally certain that they will be fine. Baby Emma will discover that time spent with Daddy, her other grandmas or any of her many aunts is different from time spent with Mommy and will learn to use that knowledge to her advantage.

Best of all Daddy will understand how difficult it is to accomplish much when his baby’s needs come first.

In other news, the saga of the lost doll continues. A few weeks ago my daughter’s niece, Kaila, lost her doll, Crystal. Crystal went everywhere with Kaila and one day the doll didn’t come home. She had been last seen in a Texas Wal-Mart but when Kaila’s mom went back for the doll nobody had seen it.

A new Crystal was substituted and Kaila was suspicious, not because the doll had different clothes, but because its head didn’t turn the same way. Then last week another trip to Wal-Mart resulted in the original doll being found.

Due to the elaborate stories concocted about Crystal having to have new clothes because it was now summertime (remember this is Texas) the old Crystal and new Crystal have now exchanged clothes. The replacement doll is buried in the bottom of the toy box. The adults in the house are hoping that Kaila’s attachment to Crystal lessens before it is discovered that there are two of them.

This whole story reminds me of the old quote, “Oh what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive.” Maybe they will have to explain identical twins or cloning when it is discovered that there are duplicate dolls.[[In-content Ad]]