Pulling the purslane (08/20/07)

Portulaca oleracea, pigweed, little hogweed, that stuff that grows in the sidewalk cracks and has tiny sunshine-yellow flowers and spoon-shaped fat leaves ... whatever you call it purslane is a tenacious little plant. It fought me every step of the way as I yanked it away from the curb and flung it into the street. The ants that lived among its roots scurried around in a panic as their world was turned upside down.

It would be a pretty posy if it didn't insist on sprawling all over the concrete and the bare patches of our lawn. I can picture it living quite happily in a hanging basket where it can drape over the sides and indulge its love of spreading its skirts like an antebellum southern lady.

Supposedly it is edible and has a "mild, sweet-sour flavor and a chewy texture." The leaves can be used in salads, soups or stews and one source said it was one of Gandhi's favorite foods. I do not recommend trying this, especially since most of mine grows next to the street where it is inundated by exhaust fumes, cigarette butts and loud music on a regular basis. Plus one of the plant's best buddys is apparently spurge, which is poisonous. It is not advisable to get the two plants mixed up even though one has fat stems and one doesn't. So I think one should leave the grazing to the animals.

I was watching a gardening show one time and they featured a plant research facility that was trying to tame purslane's wild habits. As I have yet to see the plant featured in a Burpee catalog or any other gardening wish book, I have to conclude that the researchers have not accomplished that particular task.

I was pulling the plants in an effort to clean up the sidewalk for the influx of people who attend the annual Antique Gas Engine and Tractor Show here in town. I regard purslane as a weed, just like I consider all the antique tractors and engines to be junk.

There will be an estimated 3,000 engines and approximately 800 or so tractors at this event, as well as thousands of people. It is safe to say that few, if any, of the visitors consider old engines and tractors to be worthless. Instead they cherish these metal links to a time long past.

They spend countless hours fixing, maintaining and pampering the rusty beasts. The history of each model is carefully researched by people who never saw the inside of a library while they were in school unless they were under duress. The owners know more details about their prized possessions than they know about anything else.

A day spent sharing this information with others is worth driving all over the country. People come from every state in the union to wander and admire the ancient machines. They live in recreational vehicles and motels and are quite happy doing so.

Of course, the engines and tractors aren't the only attractions to this annual extravaganza. Our house will be the only one not having a garage sale. Vendors offering some of the most amazing assortment of goods will be everywhere.

Last year I saw a crystal ball, live rabbits and a clown suit for sale. There were tables and more tables full of glassware. One stand featured nothing but spark plugs. Another had birdbaths and feeders. There were even carved grizzly bears available to grace your lawn. I have never seen such variety in my life.

Plus there are golf carts everywhere. They are attracted to garage sale signs and are prone to stopping suddenly. They are usually driven by folks with smiles on their faces and children in their laps.

All of this makes me want to flee as fast as I can. I will never have the yard looking as good as I prefer it to appear for visitors. The increased traffic makes me nervous and I am terrified that I will run over one of the golf carts or that they will pull out in front of me and tip over.

The people themselves are invariably friendly. I have become adept at pointing out the local antique shops, restaurants and grocery stores. I am proud that our little town is a safe haven from the strife of larger cities.

Even though I consider the antiques to be mostly junk and the purslane to be weeds, I am willing to accept that other people disagree, but if you're driving down my street watch out for flying purslane.[[In-content Ad]]