July 23, 2014 at 2:10 p.m.
Ready for the Christmas story (10/6/03)
As I See It
It’s getting about time to start on the annual Christmas story. I wimped out last year and didn’t write one. I think one of the most difficult parts to writing the story is that it must be begun when I am thinking more about ghosts and pumpkins than presents and Santa Claus.
The easiest way to write a story is to wait until the Muse visits and allow the words to magically flow from the fingertips to the computer screen. The only thing left to do then is to correct the spelling and add a bit of extra embroidery.
The other easy way to relate a tale is to adapt one that you have heard your family tell many times. I did this with my first Christmas story after I asked permission to use it. To omit the process of asking permission to use another’s story is stealing at its most blatant.
There is a standard formula for Christmas missives. The first thing is to come up with a likable main character. The reader must be able to identify with the hero or heroine in some way and nobody likes to think of themselves as unlikeable. Therefore, I can’t have an unrepentant ax murderer who eats elves with fava beans and a fine Chianti as the main character. He can be the bad guy, but he can’t be the hero.
Characters who start out grouchy or mean must always be filled with the joy of the Christmas season by the end of the story. If characters are of another faith, they are still required to join in the festivities by the last paragraph. Dancing around a moonlit cauldron at midnight on the winter solstice is not considered acceptable behavior in a Christmas story.
Once the reader has identified with the main character the fun begins. There has to be something for the character to do. This has to be something the reader will see as desirable. It can be as simple as getting the presents under the tree on time or as complex as reminding people of the true meaning of Christmas.
No matter how apparently easy the task, there has to be a series of seemingly insurmountable obstacles for the hero or heroine to overcome. There not only have to be mountains to climb, they must be covered with snow and ice, littered with crevices and then at the very end the abominable snowman should block the path and take a bite out of the main character’s best friend.
Having the hero save the elves from the ax murderer by intercepting the shipment of fava beans and drinking all the Chianti is a lame story line and should be avoided at all costs. This would leave the hero too drunk to deliver the baby.
Baby? What baby? I didn’t mention the baby? Just as the perfect county song has to contain some reference to a truck, a dog and beer, the perfect Christmas story has to have a baby. Nevermind that women have been having babies for thousands of years without assistance from anyone; in stories they must always have help.
Once all the obstacles have been overcome, perhaps by having the ax murderer develop an allergy to elves, there has to be a happy ending. Everybody always lives happily ever after. The hero learns a valuable lesson about the true meaning of Christmas and the reader is left with a feeling of satisfaction that the world is safe from elf-eating ax murderers.[[In-content Ad]]
The easiest way to write a story is to wait until the Muse visits and allow the words to magically flow from the fingertips to the computer screen. The only thing left to do then is to correct the spelling and add a bit of extra embroidery.
The other easy way to relate a tale is to adapt one that you have heard your family tell many times. I did this with my first Christmas story after I asked permission to use it. To omit the process of asking permission to use another’s story is stealing at its most blatant.
There is a standard formula for Christmas missives. The first thing is to come up with a likable main character. The reader must be able to identify with the hero or heroine in some way and nobody likes to think of themselves as unlikeable. Therefore, I can’t have an unrepentant ax murderer who eats elves with fava beans and a fine Chianti as the main character. He can be the bad guy, but he can’t be the hero.
Characters who start out grouchy or mean must always be filled with the joy of the Christmas season by the end of the story. If characters are of another faith, they are still required to join in the festivities by the last paragraph. Dancing around a moonlit cauldron at midnight on the winter solstice is not considered acceptable behavior in a Christmas story.
Once the reader has identified with the main character the fun begins. There has to be something for the character to do. This has to be something the reader will see as desirable. It can be as simple as getting the presents under the tree on time or as complex as reminding people of the true meaning of Christmas.
No matter how apparently easy the task, there has to be a series of seemingly insurmountable obstacles for the hero or heroine to overcome. There not only have to be mountains to climb, they must be covered with snow and ice, littered with crevices and then at the very end the abominable snowman should block the path and take a bite out of the main character’s best friend.
Having the hero save the elves from the ax murderer by intercepting the shipment of fava beans and drinking all the Chianti is a lame story line and should be avoided at all costs. This would leave the hero too drunk to deliver the baby.
Baby? What baby? I didn’t mention the baby? Just as the perfect county song has to contain some reference to a truck, a dog and beer, the perfect Christmas story has to have a baby. Nevermind that women have been having babies for thousands of years without assistance from anyone; in stories they must always have help.
Once all the obstacles have been overcome, perhaps by having the ax murderer develop an allergy to elves, there has to be a happy ending. Everybody always lives happily ever after. The hero learns a valuable lesson about the true meaning of Christmas and the reader is left with a feeling of satisfaction that the world is safe from elf-eating ax murderers.[[In-content Ad]]
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