Some handle life's stress better than others (04/17/06)

I have a friend whose parents are ill. She cares for her grandmother who has Alzheimer’s disease. She works and attends school. Plus she has a dog, a boyfriend and a new house. You would think with all that she would be bogged down with worry and depression, not to mention sheer exhaustion. Yet, she remains one of the most bubbly, caring people I have ever met. If there are blond, curly-haired angels walking around disguised as real people then, surely, she is one.

She moved to Baltimore several years ago to care for her grandmother. We got together recently when she and her grandmother drove back home to visit her parents. She had been up half the night playing with her brother’s infant daughter and still managed to be upbeat and funny.

We shopped for baby clothes. I found a cute dress for my granddaughter and she found an outfit for her niece. She talked me into trying on some truly ugly skirts and told me that they looked good on me. I did not buy them nor did I believe her. She refused to try on the bright pink and orange things I found for her although she did find a great black velvet skirt that she took home with her. Yes, she paid for it.

She commented that the many John Deere shirts we saw hanging on several racks would never be seen back in Baltimore. We passed by pink camouflage pants and she told me about her co-worker who wore a similar pair to work. Apparently skin-tight pink camouflage pants were not the most flattering things this girl has ever worn. I guess they didn’t camouflage quite enough.

We bought a couple of shirts for her boyfriend (not the John Deere ones) and a few odds and ends for her family. I considered buying a T-shirt that featured a belligerent buck for my son-in-law, the deer slayer, but couldn’t find one the right size. He probably wouldn’t have worn it anyway.

She grilled me on what has been happening in town since she left. I told her about new construction and future plans. She asked about all the people we knew in common. I related what information I had. I was afraid to ask her how her dad was. She told me anyway.

She asked if our remodeling had made any progress and I informed her that it was virtually at a standstill. She asked if we had started any plants and I confessed to having only three flats under lights this year, usually we do at least a dozen flats. She thinks this is because we are serious gardeners. The reality is that if there is a great enough quantity of plants then nobody notices when some of them die.

Most importantly we laughed and did “girlie” things like trying on clothes we had no intention of buying. Then one of us would remember something funny and we giggled some more. We pushed the buttons on all the stuffed toys that played music or danced. At one point we had a hamster and a duck singing a duet. Too bad they were playing different songs! It was great to have someone else who caused a ruckus. Usually, I am the one who tries out the toys, much to the chagrin of whomever I’m with.

We parted with promises to keep in touch via e-mail and snail mail. I had a smile on my face all the way home from thinking about the things she said.

Some people are like that. No matter what life throws at them, they remain upbeat. They radiate happiness even while they are complaining that they have more distress than they can handle. The rest of us get bogged down in the hassles of everyday life. We forget that no life is perfect and everybody has problems of some sort.

I have no idea how she balances all her obligations. It upsets me whenever one member of my family is ill. Here she is dealing with three of her loved ones in various stages of distress and she is still as calm as can be. I admire that kind of control even if she does make me try on ugly skirts and listen to singing hamsters and ducks. I can’t wait until we can do it again.[[In-content Ad]]