July 23, 2014 at 2:10 p.m.
Staples and medical miracles (9/27/04)
As I See It
By the time you read this the last of the family members should be out of the hospital, except for the one who works there, of course. She doesn’t count.
It has been a rough couple of months. It seems like everybody I know has been in and out of various hospitals lately and on top of everything else my computer monitor at work is possessed.
My nephew should get the staples out of his head today, and my daughter’s newest nephew finally has all his innards back inside his belly. He was born with his bowels on the outside of his body.
If I understand it right, this is not as uncommon or as serious as one would think. Two of the ladies at work know people who were born with similar birth defects. One such acquaintance is now an active two-year-old boy and the other is a grown man. According to my co-workers neither of them have any problems associated with this condition other than some interesting scars.
This newest member of the family, Kristian, is being kept asleep as he is an active little guy who absolutely despises all the tubes and other odds and ends attached to his newborn self. He is determined to rid his body of all things plastic at the earliest possible moment. He is not shy about screaming his protests to anyone who will listen. He is kept sedated for his own safety. That will end soon. Then watch out world!
The other nephew, the one with staples in his head, is also doing well. He has already conned his daddy into letting him go out and play when his mommy preferred he pursue quieter pastimes. He recently had surgery on his ear and is back to his usual self. It will be several weeks before we know if the operation improved his hearing.
Too bad he couldn’t keep the bandages and staples until Halloween. It would make a great costume. I don’t think he believes me when I tell him that it doesn’t hurt to have the staples removed. They look positively gruesome but having them taken out is much easier than with stitches.
I remember feeling like the bride of Frankenstein when they did my thyroid surgery. I had an entire row of staples across the front of my throat. All I needed was a couple of bolts on the sides of my neck and some really tall shoes to complete the picture.
Even without the proper accessories I managed to scare a little boy in the waiting room before they removed the drainage tube. He kept staring at me and I couldn’t resist one little, “Boo!” That took care of that!
It is absolutely amazing that any of us survive the miracles of modern medicine. Who would have thought it possible to live with one’s organs on the outside of the body instead of the inside, let alone not have any lingering health problems because of it? Anyone who has ever accidentally stapled himself would never guess that it doesn’t hurt to have an injury held together by wires or to have those bits of metal removed.
We can fix so many things that would have been fatal just a few centuries ago but we can’t fix everything. We can insert stents into arteries to hold them open, rearrange intestines so they will fit where they belong and perform other procedures to enhance and prolong life. Even with all that we can do there is so much that we don’t know about the human body. It really is a miracle that any of us survives as well as we do.
Just when I think everything is under control with the family, my computer monitor goes haywire. I have fooled it into behaving for now but I know it is only a matter of time before we will be required to exorcise whatever demons have possessed this infernal machine. The high priests who will perform this task (also known as the computer guys) aren’t scheduled to materialize for another couple of weeks.
I would much rather deal with a cantankerous machine than have to worry about those I love being subjected to scary and uncertain medical procedures. Unfortunately, there is not much choice. Health problems must be dealt with and life goes on, whether we’re ready or not.
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It has been a rough couple of months. It seems like everybody I know has been in and out of various hospitals lately and on top of everything else my computer monitor at work is possessed.
My nephew should get the staples out of his head today, and my daughter’s newest nephew finally has all his innards back inside his belly. He was born with his bowels on the outside of his body.
If I understand it right, this is not as uncommon or as serious as one would think. Two of the ladies at work know people who were born with similar birth defects. One such acquaintance is now an active two-year-old boy and the other is a grown man. According to my co-workers neither of them have any problems associated with this condition other than some interesting scars.
This newest member of the family, Kristian, is being kept asleep as he is an active little guy who absolutely despises all the tubes and other odds and ends attached to his newborn self. He is determined to rid his body of all things plastic at the earliest possible moment. He is not shy about screaming his protests to anyone who will listen. He is kept sedated for his own safety. That will end soon. Then watch out world!
The other nephew, the one with staples in his head, is also doing well. He has already conned his daddy into letting him go out and play when his mommy preferred he pursue quieter pastimes. He recently had surgery on his ear and is back to his usual self. It will be several weeks before we know if the operation improved his hearing.
Too bad he couldn’t keep the bandages and staples until Halloween. It would make a great costume. I don’t think he believes me when I tell him that it doesn’t hurt to have the staples removed. They look positively gruesome but having them taken out is much easier than with stitches.
I remember feeling like the bride of Frankenstein when they did my thyroid surgery. I had an entire row of staples across the front of my throat. All I needed was a couple of bolts on the sides of my neck and some really tall shoes to complete the picture.
Even without the proper accessories I managed to scare a little boy in the waiting room before they removed the drainage tube. He kept staring at me and I couldn’t resist one little, “Boo!” That took care of that!
It is absolutely amazing that any of us survive the miracles of modern medicine. Who would have thought it possible to live with one’s organs on the outside of the body instead of the inside, let alone not have any lingering health problems because of it? Anyone who has ever accidentally stapled himself would never guess that it doesn’t hurt to have an injury held together by wires or to have those bits of metal removed.
We can fix so many things that would have been fatal just a few centuries ago but we can’t fix everything. We can insert stents into arteries to hold them open, rearrange intestines so they will fit where they belong and perform other procedures to enhance and prolong life. Even with all that we can do there is so much that we don’t know about the human body. It really is a miracle that any of us survives as well as we do.
Just when I think everything is under control with the family, my computer monitor goes haywire. I have fooled it into behaving for now but I know it is only a matter of time before we will be required to exorcise whatever demons have possessed this infernal machine. The high priests who will perform this task (also known as the computer guys) aren’t scheduled to materialize for another couple of weeks.
I would much rather deal with a cantankerous machine than have to worry about those I love being subjected to scary and uncertain medical procedures. Unfortunately, there is not much choice. Health problems must be dealt with and life goes on, whether we’re ready or not.
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