Stuff kids eat is disgusting (8/4/03)

Why do kids insist on eating truly disgusting stuff? My nephew and his parents stopped by Sunday. He had a bag of what they called Bertie Botts.

They were tiny jelly beans in weird flavors. There was a color key that told what flavor each of the candies represented. I was informed that he had tried and spit out “earwax” and that he and his mother had each tried “dirt” at the same time. I’ve tried dirt before also, but never in a candy. It was usually because I hadn’t gotten a fresh carrot wiped off completely before eating it.

Not being brave enough to try a jelly bean without knowing what flavor it was, I asked about the yellow one. The child handed me the color key and I laughed. I couldn’t decipher the tiny print without my reading glasses. I was impressed that a boy just entering second grade could read off the flavors with ease.

The yellow one was the flavor of a lemon drop. It was pretty good but I didn’t want to try any of the other choices. I have no desire to taste a sardine-flavored candy and why anyone would take a chance on the other exotic flavors is beyond me. I pity the scientist who came up with the vomit flavored jelly bean and all who had to taste test that one.

If you are a fan of the Harry Potter series then you will recognize the candies I’m referring to. My nephew also had a Harry Potter video game that he played most of the time he was at our house. My eyes are so bad I can’t even see the screen on those things.

Kids seem to have a need to eat stuff that will make adults cringe. When my daughter was in the crawling stage she ate part of a bowl of dry dog food before I caught her. Unfortunately she was allergic to it and paid dearly for that little mishap at the next diaper change. We fed the dog in the garage after that. She, in turn, shared her Sugar Crisp with the dog by shoving the box over its face.

Recently while I was in the grocery store, I heard a young mother asking her son if he wanted some mud and bugs. I thought she was telling him to behave until I realized it was a breakfast cereal she was referring to. I suppose it was as nutritious as any of the other choices. I didn’t look to see if the bugs provided a little more protein than other cereals.

I grew up on a farm and my girlfriend and I used to like the salt blocks that were set out for the cows. When my mother caught us she said if we just had to have salt blocks to at least get one of the new ones. We didn’t like that idea. The blocks weren’t any good unless the cows had licked them first. Maybe that is why I don’t like salt any more. The salt in the shaker hasn’t been tasted by cows!

If you pay attention to the foods marketed for children they are designed to provoke reactions of disgust and disbelief from adults. Catsup is now any color except red and candy is sour enough to make even Pollyanna pucker up.

It is all a part of each generation trying desperately to separate itself from all others. We had long hair and love beads, young people have tattoos and piercings and little kids have nasty candy and green chocolate syrup.

I know this tendency toward green chocolate is due to marketing for a movie but would you want to drink green milk? When I was young I refused to ingest any green food, mainly because that was what color vegetables were. We also had a rather unappetizing joke about green milk. Now kids are drinking the stuff voluntarily.

I think I’ll leave the nasty candy to the children and stick with plain chocolate when I need a sugar fix. And I’ll let my nephew finish his jelly beans by himself.[[In-content Ad]]