There is usually more to a person than meets the eye (01/22/07)

One minute I was having dinner with my daughter and the next I was staring in amazement as that very same woman instantly transformed into a professional, ultra-competent nurse. We had been discussing what to order when her sister called and suddenly she was firing questions at her sister, demanding a pen and punching numbers into her phone.

After calling her hospital and talking to a doctor (yes, she got a real doctor on the phone in a matter of seconds!) she called her sister back with a battle plan. We were assured that Kaila, the cause of all this concern, would be fine until we finished dinner. Kaila is my daughter's niece and had a bad case of what my daughter deemed "the crud" and what I usually call "the flu," also known as a stomach virus.

I thought, "Who is this person who can get a doctor on the phone?" I had never seen my daughter take charge and calm anyone down so quickly. After she was certain she had the situation well under control she reverted to the girl I thought I knew. We relaxed and shared our dinner with my granddaughter, baby Emma, and discussed how best to get the needed medicine to Kaila without passing on the illness to Emma. Emma ignored this whole exchange and was content to play a game of "how many times can I get Grandma to pick the spoon up off the floor."

My son-in-law met us at the drug store on his way home from work. He took charge of the baby and my daughter dropped me off at the hotel on the way to her sister's house. The next day Kaila was back to her usual non-stop chattering and playing so the medicine must have worked. Or maybe it was the Disney princess toy we bought for her that did the trick. Maybe it was just the calmness that her Aunt Beth displayed that got her through a miserable night.

My daughter and I were talking later and she mentioned that she had that very same feeling of surprise and pride when her step-brother fixed a rattling fan shroud on her car. She knew her step-brother as a rebellious and somewhat irresponsible teenager and wasn't prepared for the competent Marine mechanic he had become in the last couple of years. In her mind he was as he used to be, not what he had become.

I tend to assume that people are the way I see them and don't think about the other parts of their lives. I have a friend who used to work in the same lab I did. She was very good at her job and fun to be around. We get together every year or so to catch up and it feels like we've never been apart.

Nevertheless, I am always amazed when she tells me that she is working on a wedding dress for someone or doing some other kind of intricate needlework that I would never attempt in a million years. I think of her as a friend and former coworker not some whiz-bang seamstress. And when she starts talking about her great-grandchildren I find it hard to believe because I remember when her first grandchild was born. After all, it wasn't that long ago and neither of us can be that old.

It is not that people change so much as that given the right circumstance they can discover talents and passions nobody ever suspected. My mother was always dismissed as "stupid" but she can look at a photograph of a crocheted piece or a plastic canvas craft and duplicate it without directions. I can't do that. My friend makes wedding dresses. My daughter soothes souls and helps save lives. I put words on paper.

Most of us have one face we wear in front of others - good worker, loving spouse or incompetent fool. We live up to others' expectations of us and rarely let anyone see more than one facet of our lives. Therefore, when we get a glimpse into what someone is like around other people it is a source of surprise and sometimes pride that someone we know and love is far more than we ever realized they were.

Do you really know your loved ones? Or is there more there than meets the eye?[[In-content Ad]]