They're not for everyone (4/12/04)

I can tell that my husband still loves me after all these years. He brought home a present for me yesterday – a big sack overflowing with green onions. They were donated by the father of one of his co-workers. I consider green onions to be a healthy form of candy as well as a very effective means of keeping the vampires away. We now have enough of the pungent veggies to banish a whole horde of vampires along with a host of other mythological bad guys.

What makes this an act of love is that my husband does not share my love of stinky food. He tends to turn up his nose at sardines covered with mustard, mushrooms and onions cooked in butter and other delicious concoctions that have intense aromas.

Lest you think this is a one-way street, I also cook things for him that I hate. For instance, green beans. The stench of those nasty green things bubbling away on the stove literally turns my stomach. Yet, every year I plant them, weed them, pick them and clean them. The whole house reeks of bacon and beans for days at a time. I can’t think of anyone else I would do that for.

We don’t limit our olfactory assaults to stinky foods. We have several plants that live as far away from the house as is possible. The crown imperials, also known as tears of Mary, do a fantastic imitation of a dead skunk. I assume they are pollinated by flies or some such creature that finds that scent alluring. For a few weeks in spring they reign supreme over the other plants in that flower bed. People always ask about them because they are so odd-looking but they seldom realize just where that unpleasant smell is coming from.

We both enjoy searching for things the other would like. He has been known to purchase plants for me because he “feels sorry for them.” It usually takes a couple of years before the formerly puny plants tower over us.

I buy things for him that make his eyes light up when he sees the commercials – such as laser levels. I think he was disappointed when he found out that he couldn’t tease the cat with the level like he could with the little laser pointer my daughter provided for him a year or so ago.

One year he came home with several giant heads of cabbage via the above work-related route. As there are only two of us and neither of us likes cooked cabbage we made enough cole slaw to feed everybody we knew. It was good slaw but after awhile we never wanted to see the stuff again. I think the gardener who shared with us should have won some kind of prize for the largest number of people fed by one head of cabbage.

We also woo each other with candy. He prefers cinnamon imperials. I sometimes buy Neccho wafers for him because he doesn’t like the black ones but I do. We treat each other to many gifts throughout the year. Some presents are free, most are inexpensive and once in a while we splurge.

This year for our anniversary I received some lovely flowers and even lovelier jewelry. We had a great dinner at a nice restaurant. The best present I received from him is one that didn’t cost any money. He said he wasn’t ready to give up yet and that we would aim for another 25 years … or more. I’m looking forward to what the future brings. At least we don’t have to worry about it bringing any vampires as long as the green onions last.[[In-content Ad]]