Thoughts of hibernation (12/29/03)

Christmas is over for another year. I hope Santa was as good to you as he was to me. It seems like the jolly old elf gets better every year at giving me things I really like. Either that or I get easier to please.

Now it is time to settle in for the winter. I am extremely grateful that I don’t live in one of those places where the sun sets in the fall and doesn’t come up again until spring. The dreary weather we expect here in the next few months is bad enough. At least where I live we are surprised with the occasional blindingly sunny day.

I like the changing seasons. I wouldn’t want to live in a place where the weather stays a constant temperature all year. I rethink this position every time I open a heat bill in January.

Shortly before Christmas I was talking to my daughter. She said it was hard to get into the Christmas spirit when it was 68° outside. We were having this conversation as she was getting some ice cream at the local Dairy Queen. She then proceeded to evade the suicidal carolers in the middle of the street.

We don’t have that problem here. Our Dairy Queen closes in winter and local carolers are bundled up enough that even if some fool were to run over them they wouldn’t get hurt. But then, our carolers have enough sense to stay out of the middle of the street!

Many people use the end of the year as a time to resolve to reform all their bad habits in the upcoming months. This is usually a waste of time and effort. Only a small percentage of people follow through on their resolutions for more than a few weeks. I am not one of them.

Hope springs eternal in that we try and try again to lose weight, stop smoking or stop drinking. I could resolve to stop smoking but I would have to start smoking first so that is out. I could resolve to stop drinking but I seldom if ever drink so that one wouldn’t be much of a challenge either.

That leaves the ever-popular resolution to lose weight. If only it didn’t involve exercise or doing without foods I enjoy it would be easier. If they ever invent a diet that lets me eat whatever and whenever I want and not move after supper then I might have a chance at regaining my youthful figure. I know it’s in there somewhere. Until that day comes I will just tell people that I am preparing for the eventual famine.

Personally, I would rather hibernate all winter only to emerge in the spring, slimmer and full of energy. I can’t seem to find an employer willing to go along with this arrangement. I don’t think my family would appreciate it either. They expect supper to be on the table once in a while and I am to show up at family gatherings bearing gifts.

Speaking of gifts, I bet I won’t be allowed to buy presents for the youngest members of the family any more. After presenting them with modeling clay, dozens of dinosaurs and assorted things to mold and paint I expect to receive specific instructions as to the items I’m not to buy any more. But what fun is it to be an aunt if I can’t help the kids make a mess?

The upcoming year may not find me slimmer but at least it finds me alive and on the lookout for other messy presents to give the little ones. It is enough.[[In-content Ad]]