Time to keep it or throw it away (03/26/07)

So far I haven't seen any packages of pink Peeps® bunnies in the yard. I heard through the grapevine that was going to happen as a result of last week's column in which I remarked on how much I like rabbits even though our backyard seems to be a bathroom for every bunny in the area.

If it ever quits raining I will try to get the trash out of the bushes and flowers while avoiding the bunny droppings and any errant Peeps®. I have discovered that the "reacher" we inherited from my father-in-law is great for picking up trash. It sure saves a lot of bending over. Twenty years ago I would have scoffed at the idea that bending over to pick up trash was a chore. Not any more. Now my muscles are becoming as stiff as my mind is narrow.

The weather forecast is calling for rain for the next week or so. If that is the case then I will probably spend my time spring cleaning inside instead of outside. I can get just as dirty but it isn't nearly as much fun.

When I spring clean I feel like Dr. Keep-it and Mr. Throw-it-away. Dr. Keep-it says, "Keep it, it's still good. You might need it someday. Besides, you paid good money for that."

Mr. Throw-it-away responds with, "Throw it out. You can always buy another one."

"That's wasteful," responds Dr. Keep-it.

"So what?" says Mr. Throw-it-away. "Isn't this America, land of conspicuous consumption and excess?"

The voice of reason cuts in with, "Just wash the windows, and shut up."

All this inner debate is tiring. Consequently, I have more stuff than I know what to do with. Even when the wasteful Mr. Throw-it-away wins the inner battle and I manage to donate several trash bags full of clothing to the needy it seems as if nothing is missing. I guess that would be a hint to dispose of even more.

Sometimes Dr. Keep-it goes on vacation and I get in the mood to get rid of stuff. This doesn't happen very often. I am a notorious hoarder. If something has the least bit of sentimental value I hold on to it forever. For instance, I have every single letter my daughter has ever written to me. All of them. They are all over the place, stuffed into files, drawers and who knows where else.

I have a polka dot dress that I don't have a prayer of ever fitting into again. But it was the first expensive dress I had ever purchased and once upon a time I looked fabulous in it. I keep it for the memories of those days. I have receipts that are so old they are blank. I have ugly curtains that don't fit any windows in the house we've lived in for more than 20 years. I have a treadmill that was used so often that the edge of the belt shredded and it is now a decorative piece of "sculpture" complete with lacy ornamental cobwebs.

We also have a bad case of, "I think I can fix that," in our house. As in, "don't throw that away. I can fix that." Of course, we never actually get around to fixing most of the things that need repair. We do just enough to keep hope alive and frustration rampant.

Even with all the inner debate and unwillingness to part with anything, I intend to at least rearrange the clutter that has built up over the winter. I am hoping to relocate some of it to a new home away from my house. I'm still waiting for a potting shed to materialize in the backyard. Then the excess pots, soil, fertilizers and such can go live there instead of in the hall closet. If I get lucky some of the clutter might even end up at the local landfill.

That is the plan but as we all know things seldom happen as planned. Most likely I will get sidetracked by a book that needs to be reread, a project half done or some other excuse not to dispose of clothes that haven't been worn in years.

It would be so much easier if I could avoid the keep-it no throw-it-away battle. Even if all I do is rearrange things it will be a beginning and as we all know spring is all about beginnings. Maybe I can begin by finding someone who wants those ugly curtains.[[In-content Ad]]