Too many remedies (1/3/04)

Does anybody have any chicken soup? It is said that there is no cure for the common cold. That doesn’t stop people from offering me dozens of “cures” ranging from the proverbial chicken soup to hot tea with honey, lemon and whiskey.

My daughter highly recommends Welch’s purple grape juice, not the white. According to her the white is nasty. A web site promotes garlic to ward off cold germs. I suppose you could kill germs and avoid vampires at the same time with this remedy.

My mother used to slather me with Vick’s Salve from my chin to my bellybutton then for good measure she would tie a bandanna around my salve-coated neck. I remember eating onion sandwiches on white bread to “clear up my sinuses.” Between the onions and the Vick’s you could smell me coming a mile away.

The pharmacy shelves are covered with cough syrups, decongestants, and other assorted concoctions and potions all purported to either keep the cold germs at bay or to lessen their effect. From what I can see of the hacking, red-eyed people haunting these aisles none of it works very well.

I should tell you that it is taking longer than usual to pen this column because I have to stop and cough at the end of almost every sentence so if I lose my train of thought . . . wait what was I saying? Oh, yeah, my brain has turned to mush as a result of all the coughing so please excuse any bits of incoherence you may find.

I looked up cold remedies on the Internet. One that I have no intention of trying involves habenaro peppers. For those who have never had them they are listed as the hottest of the hot peppers. I suppose they burn the cold germs out. I have never eaten habenaro peppers. The hottest peppers I have ever tried were in a dish I ordered at Carlos O’Kelleys.

The description said it was made with chipolte peppers. I had never experienced these before. I took the first bite and my husband said all the color drained out of my face then was replaced by a cherry red color. I have never in my life tasted anything that burned so much. If habenaroes are hotter than that then I don’t want anything to do with them. I’d rather sniffle and cough and sound pathetic.

I could make matzo ball soup. That is a form of chicken soup that I grew to love when I worked at a Jewish delicatessen. It is similar to chicken noodle soup except instead of noodles there is a fluffy dumpling in the bottom of the bowl.

It is bland enough to eat when one doesn’t want anything with a whole lot of flavor.

I don’t trust all the herbal remedies that are on the market.

I find that many herbal products have a rather unpleasant side effect for me. They give me a whopper of a headache.

I have enough things that hurt without adding to it.

There are aromatherapy products advertised that claim will make me feel better.

How can they work when the sense of smell is one of the first things to be affected when one has a cold?

In case you’re wondering the first thing a cold affects is the sense of humor. Eucalyptus, peppermint, lavender, cedar and lemon are some scents that are supposed to help. Rosemary, thyme, mint, basil and tea tree oils are also supposed to provide some relief. So should I climb inside the cedar chest while surrounding myself with assorted dried spices? I don’t think so.

Echinacea is a popular thing these days. Personally I prefer my echinacea in the form of a bouquet of the pinkish-purple flowers instead of however the stuff is administered.

I’ll leave the home remedies to other people. I’ll take extra vitamin C in the form of real oranges, curl up with a cup of tea - minus the whiskey - and try to breathe. If I get enough energy I may make some chicken soup or maybe an onion sandwich. It couldn’t hurt.[[In-content Ad]]