July 23, 2014 at 2:10 p.m.
TV hazardous to health (5/24/04)
As I See It
Gracie, the calico cat, is no longer allowed to watch television. Apparently her favorite movie is The Godfather. She especially enjoys the scene where the guy wakes up to find a horse head in bed with him.
To my knowledge, Gracie has never seen a real horse and couldn’t possibly decapitate one if she tried. Her specialties are bugs and mice. She is adept at plucking flies out of the air and she doesn’t even need chopsticks. Ladybugs are a bit more evasive and usually require her to climb the curtains. After replacing the curtain rod several times I finally stuck several drapery supports under the rod for extra strength. These aren’t long enough to hold up the valence – and yes she does climb that high – so I tell people that the gracefully curving lace is a style statement.
They don’t believe me.
She caught her first mouse a few months after she came to live with us. We awoke one morning to find it stretched out between us, not a mark on its body. After that she was the sole furry creature in our house up until a month or so ago. I thought she was practicing catch-and-release with the mice. Maybe I should rephrase that to torture-and-release, although she never takes pictures of her victims like our military does. Also unlike some of our military personnel, Gracie will never have to spend time in jail for violating the Geneva Convention.
All that came to an end the other night. I heard a commotion akin to a herd of elephants on a rampage. After I managed to get my eyes open and focused, I realized it was just the cat. She was at the foot of my side of the bed and it appeared as if she had something trapped. Leaving her to dispatch whatever it was, be it bug, beast or imaginary foe, I retreated to the living room and curled up on the couch.
About five minutes later all the lights in the house came on. It seems that my husband had gotten up in the middle of the night and when he went back to bed afterwards he realized that he wasn’t alone.
Gracie had presented him with a dead mouse on his pillow. As it was only 2:00 a.m. he failed to see it before it was too late.
He disposed of the mouse, I changed his pillowcase and we both told the cat what a good girl she was. I made sure she knew that I was not the least bit jealous that I was not the favored human.
It could have been worse. I have heard tales of a cat owner who awoke to find a cat perched on her chest. A live mouse was dangling from the cat’s mouth. Apparently the animal was intending to feed the mouse to its human. It may have been an act of love on the cat’s part. More likely the feline had a sense of humor and knew full well that its person preferred food that didn’t wiggle its feet. It probably told all its friends that it played a practical joke on its owner and they all had a good laugh.
The first cat we ever owned used to play basketball with the mice. She could throw the poor creatures almost to the ceiling and catch them on the way down. When the game came to an end she would eat the battered morsel and we wouldn’t have to deal with it. Our second cat, Igor, was a pacifist. He enjoyed playing with other species but always let them limp on with their lives afterwards.
Our current animal is a performance artist. She enjoys the thrill of the chase and when her play toys no longer move on their own, she arranges them carefully to generate the most intense reaction. We don’t always appreciate her efforts or her gifts. We do intend to monitor her viewing habits more closely so she doesn’t get any more gory ideas from the moving pictures on the television screen.[[In-content Ad]]
To my knowledge, Gracie has never seen a real horse and couldn’t possibly decapitate one if she tried. Her specialties are bugs and mice. She is adept at plucking flies out of the air and she doesn’t even need chopsticks. Ladybugs are a bit more evasive and usually require her to climb the curtains. After replacing the curtain rod several times I finally stuck several drapery supports under the rod for extra strength. These aren’t long enough to hold up the valence – and yes she does climb that high – so I tell people that the gracefully curving lace is a style statement.
They don’t believe me.
She caught her first mouse a few months after she came to live with us. We awoke one morning to find it stretched out between us, not a mark on its body. After that she was the sole furry creature in our house up until a month or so ago. I thought she was practicing catch-and-release with the mice. Maybe I should rephrase that to torture-and-release, although she never takes pictures of her victims like our military does. Also unlike some of our military personnel, Gracie will never have to spend time in jail for violating the Geneva Convention.
All that came to an end the other night. I heard a commotion akin to a herd of elephants on a rampage. After I managed to get my eyes open and focused, I realized it was just the cat. She was at the foot of my side of the bed and it appeared as if she had something trapped. Leaving her to dispatch whatever it was, be it bug, beast or imaginary foe, I retreated to the living room and curled up on the couch.
About five minutes later all the lights in the house came on. It seems that my husband had gotten up in the middle of the night and when he went back to bed afterwards he realized that he wasn’t alone.
Gracie had presented him with a dead mouse on his pillow. As it was only 2:00 a.m. he failed to see it before it was too late.
He disposed of the mouse, I changed his pillowcase and we both told the cat what a good girl she was. I made sure she knew that I was not the least bit jealous that I was not the favored human.
It could have been worse. I have heard tales of a cat owner who awoke to find a cat perched on her chest. A live mouse was dangling from the cat’s mouth. Apparently the animal was intending to feed the mouse to its human. It may have been an act of love on the cat’s part. More likely the feline had a sense of humor and knew full well that its person preferred food that didn’t wiggle its feet. It probably told all its friends that it played a practical joke on its owner and they all had a good laugh.
The first cat we ever owned used to play basketball with the mice. She could throw the poor creatures almost to the ceiling and catch them on the way down. When the game came to an end she would eat the battered morsel and we wouldn’t have to deal with it. Our second cat, Igor, was a pacifist. He enjoyed playing with other species but always let them limp on with their lives afterwards.
Our current animal is a performance artist. She enjoys the thrill of the chase and when her play toys no longer move on their own, she arranges them carefully to generate the most intense reaction. We don’t always appreciate her efforts or her gifts. We do intend to monitor her viewing habits more closely so she doesn’t get any more gory ideas from the moving pictures on the television screen.[[In-content Ad]]
Top Stories
9/11 NEVER FORGET Mobile Exhibit
Chartwells marketing
September 17, 2024 7:36 a.m.
Events
250 X 250 AD