What's a cubit? (7/14/03)

What’s a cubit? With all the rain we have had lately I am giving serious consideration to building an ark.

The dictionary defines cubit as “any of various ancient units of length based on the length of the forearm from the elbow to the tip of the middle finger and usually equal to about 18 inches but sometimes to 21 or more.” From my elbow to the tip of my finger is a little over 14 inches. I measured some of my co-workers and so far only one was 21 inches from elbow to fingertip, two were 18 inches and the rest were less than that.

Since people are bigger now than they used to be I’m wondering how a cubit came to be defined as being between 18 and 21 inches long. Then to make things even more confusing one website suggests that the cubit referred to in the Bible is not a cubit after all. The measurement should really be handspans because the original text was mistranslated. Maybe I should just measure things in feet and be done with it.

The dimensions given in the Bible are 300 cubits by 50 cubits by 30 cubits high. If we use the standard 18 inches per cubit that makes the contraption about 450 feet by 75 feet by 45 feet high.

Now I have another problem. Where do I build this ark? It won’t fit in the back yard. Maybe if I use the empty lot next door and if I angle it just right then it might fit.

Did I mention that it is to be three stories high? This presents another problem. Anything taller than the average stepladder is beyond my reach. I am not a fan of scaffolding and hiring someone to do this for me is out of the question as everybody would think I had lost my mind. Of course, they thought that about Noah also.

The Bible specifies that the ark is to be made out of gopher wood. What kind of tree is that? Did all the gopher trees drown in the flood? Did the gophers eat them? Will I have to special order it from the lumber yard? I figure since it was God giving the original instructions, and He knows more than I do, I should at least try to follow the directions. Would He let me substitute maple or oak instead?

I probably will need a building permit. However, since this won’t be a permanent structure I might be able to avoid that process.

On the remote chance that I could actually build the structure, the Bible specifies that it should be covered in pitch inside and out. I suppose this is to make it waterproof. Wouldn’t plastic do the same thing? It would certainly smell better.

Then there is the matter of all the animals. They had better volunteer for this mission of repopulating the earth because I can’t catch our cat if she doesn’t want me to, let alone capture two of every kind of animal there is. How do I tell if I have a male and female of each? I’m certainly not able to tell a male snake from a female snake. What if one of them turns out to be sterile? Would I just wipe out an entire species because I didn’t know this ahead of time?

Then there is the matter of the Indiana Department of Environmental Management and the Environmental Protection Agency. How would I prove to them that I could safely and hygienically dispose of all the waste these creatures would produce? The thought of all that paperwork just boggles my mind.

Wait - what is that light in the sky? Is it the sun? Maybe I won’t have to build an ark after all. At least now I know what a cubit is.[[In-content Ad]]