July 23, 2014 at 2:10 p.m.
When life is too fickle to reflect on its fickleness (03/22/04)
As I see it
I was intending to do a nice little column on how fickle March is. I meant to throw in something about how our bird of paradise plant is spectacular in bloom, even more so than the photographs I’ve seen. And about how it blooms a little at a time, a few glorious petals one week, a few more the next. It unfolds itself bit by bit much like the season of spring. It was going to be a poetic and hopefully entertaining little piece of prose about promises, expectations and breathtaking beauty.
There is a problem with this plan. I was up half the night with a head cold and now that is all I can think about. It hurts and I am plotting revenge on the person who so graciously shared it with me. When I finally got to sleep last night the cat jumped on top of me and stared until I woke up. When she was satisfied that I was fully awake she curled up and slept on the couch for the rest of the night. I was not so lucky.
Then to make matters even more difficult, the electricity went out for a few seconds this morning. My computer took the opportunity to take a nap for a half hour or so in retaliation for being deprived of its source of energy. It took minor surgery to wake it up again. Why on earth is a reset button buried deep in the bowels of the infernal machine when it would make more sense to have the thing readily accessible?
I tried to get back on track by looking up the word “fickle” on the internet. There were hundreds of entries, not one of which the least bit useful. After a while the word took on the personality of a nonsense syllable and I abandoned the whole idea entirely.
If by some miracle I get a good night’s sleep tonight without being awakened by a hairy beast I will probably be in a better mood. I don’t plan to go anywhere near computers. I do plan to start repotting the plants in preparation for their summer migration outdoors. Puttering around in the dirt always makes me feel better.
Someone gave me a new type of plant food made by a company I have never heard of and I want to see if it works.
The advertisement says that it so powerful that plants must be repotted in fresh soil before using this amazing product or else it will burn them up. As I have no intention of hosting an indoor marshmallow roast over flaming foliage I will follow the directions for once in my life.
The hype reminds me of that commercial about the weight loss pills that are so powerful they cost $153 a bottle and are not for those who want to lose a few vanity pounds. At least the plant food was free.
The literature that came with the fertilizer was interesting. It showed the usual pictures of plants grown with the product and with a competitor’s product. It was the first time I have seen such pictures where there was little discernible difference between the two photos. The most interesting part of the whole advertisement was a series of pictures showing soil microorganisms.
Microorganisms are just critters that are too small to be seen with anything other than a microscope. Some of the creatures were downright beautiful. It reminded me of the pictures I have seen of diatoms.
Diatomaceous earth is what is sprinkled around hostas to keep the slugs from dining on the leaves. Diatomaceous earth is made of the skeletons of diatoms. They are some of the most ornate and beautiful organisms I have ever seen. It always amazed me that something so infinitesimally small could be so gorgeous.
It is on days like today that I think I have been a grouch forever. I might as well go live in a trash can and change my name to Oscar. I fail to see the humor in much of anything although I can still tell you about wonderful things that are too small to be appreciated with the naked eye.
March and the capriciousness of the seasons will have to wait for another day before they get to be the subject of this column.
For now, I will go home and play in the dirt with the help of a calico cat. I will try to wait out this head cold without doing bodily harm to whoever passed this wonderful virus along. I expect to be feeling much better by the time you read this. If I don’t then Oscar the Grouch just may have a roommate until this bad mood passes.[[In-content Ad]]
There is a problem with this plan. I was up half the night with a head cold and now that is all I can think about. It hurts and I am plotting revenge on the person who so graciously shared it with me. When I finally got to sleep last night the cat jumped on top of me and stared until I woke up. When she was satisfied that I was fully awake she curled up and slept on the couch for the rest of the night. I was not so lucky.
Then to make matters even more difficult, the electricity went out for a few seconds this morning. My computer took the opportunity to take a nap for a half hour or so in retaliation for being deprived of its source of energy. It took minor surgery to wake it up again. Why on earth is a reset button buried deep in the bowels of the infernal machine when it would make more sense to have the thing readily accessible?
I tried to get back on track by looking up the word “fickle” on the internet. There were hundreds of entries, not one of which the least bit useful. After a while the word took on the personality of a nonsense syllable and I abandoned the whole idea entirely.
If by some miracle I get a good night’s sleep tonight without being awakened by a hairy beast I will probably be in a better mood. I don’t plan to go anywhere near computers. I do plan to start repotting the plants in preparation for their summer migration outdoors. Puttering around in the dirt always makes me feel better.
Someone gave me a new type of plant food made by a company I have never heard of and I want to see if it works.
The advertisement says that it so powerful that plants must be repotted in fresh soil before using this amazing product or else it will burn them up. As I have no intention of hosting an indoor marshmallow roast over flaming foliage I will follow the directions for once in my life.
The hype reminds me of that commercial about the weight loss pills that are so powerful they cost $153 a bottle and are not for those who want to lose a few vanity pounds. At least the plant food was free.
The literature that came with the fertilizer was interesting. It showed the usual pictures of plants grown with the product and with a competitor’s product. It was the first time I have seen such pictures where there was little discernible difference between the two photos. The most interesting part of the whole advertisement was a series of pictures showing soil microorganisms.
Microorganisms are just critters that are too small to be seen with anything other than a microscope. Some of the creatures were downright beautiful. It reminded me of the pictures I have seen of diatoms.
Diatomaceous earth is what is sprinkled around hostas to keep the slugs from dining on the leaves. Diatomaceous earth is made of the skeletons of diatoms. They are some of the most ornate and beautiful organisms I have ever seen. It always amazed me that something so infinitesimally small could be so gorgeous.
It is on days like today that I think I have been a grouch forever. I might as well go live in a trash can and change my name to Oscar. I fail to see the humor in much of anything although I can still tell you about wonderful things that are too small to be appreciated with the naked eye.
March and the capriciousness of the seasons will have to wait for another day before they get to be the subject of this column.
For now, I will go home and play in the dirt with the help of a calico cat. I will try to wait out this head cold without doing bodily harm to whoever passed this wonderful virus along. I expect to be feeling much better by the time you read this. If I don’t then Oscar the Grouch just may have a roommate until this bad mood passes.[[In-content Ad]]
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