Who wants chocolate that doesn't melt?

Blasphemy! That’s the first thing I thought when I read the internet headline, “Scientists develop chocolate that won’t melt.” The second thing I thought was, What good is it if it won’t melt? How can toddlers get all gooey in the summer if the chocolate won’t melt all over their little bare tummies?

It turns out that companies are trying to develop a chocolate bar that can be consumed in tropical areas. Ordinary chocolate bars won’t survive the heat in places like Nigeria where this abomination occurred. Of course, that could explain all those pictures of skinny Nigerians.

The scientists have added corn starch to chocolate and thus raised the melting point. The article goes on to say that in taste tests conducted by the Nigerian researchers, people rated the new concoction as being similar to milk chocolate. How can they tell if the only milk chocolate they’ve ever had liquefies as soon as it’s exposed to the outdoors? Do they really think that it is supposed to be chewy and waxy instead of smooth and melty? Texture is as much a part of the experience as is appearance and flavor.

One of the great pleasures in life is to let chocolate slowly melt in your mouth. The smooth, rich sweetness covers your tongue with joy then happily deposits itself somewhere on your hips, thighs or tummy, never, ever to leave you. Chocolate fat is forever and will stick around long after your latest boyfriend (or girlfriend) is a distant memory.

I suppose it would be difficult to bake with this stuff. Cakes and candies made with powdered cocoa have a completely different flavor than ones made with melted chocolate. How would one go about baking a gooey brownie with chocolate that stays solid? You might as well have butter that doesn’t melt. The whole point is for the stuff to soften and blend with the other ingredients at just the right temperature.

Plus it would be impossible to make chocolate covered cherries or strawberries. If you did get it to cover the fruit then it might just turn the strawberry or cherry into mush before the coating hardens again.

I realize that people have been trying to produce chocolate that has an extended shelf life for many years. The goal is to have an acceptable product that doesn’t ooze out of the hot backpack of a soldier trudging through the desert.

In fact, that was part of the impetus that led to the creation of M & M’s candy. The candy shell held the chocolate together. During the Spanish Civil War, Forrest Mars noticed that soldiers were eating little pieces of chocolate encased in a hard sugar coating. Mr. Mars improved on the candy and marketed it to the military as a snack that traveled well in any climate. We won’t make any comment about the fact that Mr. Mars was more concerned with candy than with bullets whizzing by his head.

Apparently the Nigerians want chocolate without the colorful candy coating. I think all those commercials about dancing M & M’s have scared them somehow. Or perhaps they see the abundance of overweight people in this country as something to strive for in their own lands. Or maybe they don’t think that chocolate-covered cherries are worth the mess. Or just maybe they see dollar signs when they think of selling all that non-melting chocolate to various military units.

Whatever the reason, I think it is just short of sacrilegious to mess with the traditional chocolate experience. I have watched a program on the food network where famous chefs make fantastic sculptures out of chocolate. Maybe they would appreciate this product. Studio lights must surely be as detrimental to this ambrosia of the gods as tropical temperatures are.

I prefer the taste and consistency of chocolate to be exactly the same as what I have gotten used to over the years. I like the plain stuff made by Hershey, Nestle or Mars. I expect it to melt in both my mouth and in my hands. Whenever scientists try to improve on anything as basic as chocolate they invariably come up with a product that is inferior at best and harmful at worst. While I applaud their efforts to bring this delicious treat to more people I am skeptical that they can improve on the perfect taste of heaven that I have come to expect every time I unwrap a chocolate bar.[[In-content Ad]]