Birthday party is postponed

Today is my mother’s 86th birthday. If you had asked me last fall or winter, I would have told you that I didn’t think she would last this long. She had a difficult few months. The long, frigid winter felt longer and even colder than it was because of the many trips I made do what little I could to help her. Thankfully, she seems to be surviving just fine for now.
True, she does have an appointment with a surgeon later on this month. Everybody assures me that her problem is minor and can be alleviated easily. She has other, chronic and more serious conditions that no doctor can fix but that is simply the way things are. Sometimes we have to accept the distressing fact that bodies wear out and nobody lives forever.
I didn’t bake her a cake, nor did I buy a present. I didn’t even take the time to drive down there for a visit. My husband is still recuperating from knee replacement surgery. He can’t handle that long of a car ride yet and I don’t feel comfortable leaving him alone for that length of time.
I had hoped that my brother would bring our mother up here for a few hours. That idea was nixed because he is on call this weekend. My other brother had previous plans, and as they took Mom to the last couple of doctor’s appointments, it is understandable that they would need a break.
Still, I feel guilty that I can’t make her birthday a little better. After we get permission from my husband’s doctor I intend to plan a family get together in order to provide her with a belated birthday party. But for now, my place is at home.
My hubby is stronger every day. Even so, I am getting stir crazy. I can take an hour or so for myself but any longer than that and I get worried and hurry back home to reassure myself that nothing bad has happened in my absence. I can’t imagine leaving him alone for an entire day yet.
Delaying my mother’s birthday celebration gives me extra time to shop for her present. I usually have something specific in mind, but not this year. I have no clue what to buy for her. I suppose I could get her some more yarn, but she already has enough to start her own yarn store.
What she really wants is company. We live too far apart to visit every day or even every week. When I do go to her house, I spend the entire day. Sometimes she chases me away early because rain is predicted or because she knows I want to get home before dark.
She has reached the age where all her childhood friends are dead. She has a couple of ladies she talks to on the phone but it isn’t the same as having someone who remembers the same things she does.
It isn’t the same as having somebody to visit with in person. If I could, I would give her new friends who are just as lonely and hungry for company as she is.
Instead, I search the stores with the goal of finding something that will make her smile. I look for something that will take up a bit of her time in hopes that will take her mind off of the loneliness. I seek a present befitting her 86 years on this green earth, although I can’t get her what she really wants - health and friends.
My brother did his best to make up for my absence. He bought her a pretty cake and a teddy bear. He even stopped at a local restaurant and bought her favorite fried chicken. Better yet, he and his wife spent a precious few hours with her.
My mom’s birthday is today. I try to appreciate the miracle in that statement without feeling guilty that I can’t be there to help celebrate.