It’s comforting knowing neighbors care

“Thanks for checking on my mom,” the teller said recently as our cash came rattling through the drive-up machine.

We muttered some pleasantries in reply and went on our way.

We had checked on one of our neighbors because there was an unknown car parked in front of her place overnight. This was unusual and we wanted to make sure nothing was wrong. It turned out that someone’s car had broken down and the driver had left it there. It was gone the following afternoon.

She is our designated “little old lady who knows everything that is going on in the neighborhood,” although she is neither little nor old. No matter what is happening she not only knows what, but also why, there are unusual cars or people around. She also knows everybody in town and what they have been doing for most of their lives and with whom.

She knows when we are home and when one of us is gone. I joke with her and tell her I think she has installed motion detectors in our driveway so she can tell when we leave. She doesn’t deny it. One would think I would find this to be intrusive. One would be wrong. I find it comforting to know that someone is watching over us.

There once was a time when I found it disconcerting when random people commented on my life. When I first began writing this column a woman came to a screeching halt at the corner. She left her door open as she ran across my lawn and threw her arms around me and said she loved my column. It scared me to death. Plus, I was embarrassed because I had been working in the yard and was all sweaty and dirty. She became a dear pen pal until her death a few years ago.

The pharmacist who complemented my tulips, the postal worker who asked the name of those purple flowers up by the house, and bank employees who know I visit their mother used to make me uncomfortable. I felt exposed to know so many people not only knew who I was but also where I live.

We have resided here long enough to change my perspective. No longer is any kind of attention a prelude to something bad happening. I have come to realize that neighbors being concerned about each other is a good thing.

We watch out for her just like she watches over us. I think all neighborhoods should have someone like that. The job usually falls to older, unemployed women. Working people simply don’t have the time to notice the normal patterns of activity in an area. Many of us have a sense of privacy that keeps us from intruding on other people’s lives.

Unfortunately, that reluctance to intrude often results in loneliness and isolation. By reaching out to others our lives are enriched in immeasurable ways. Our neighbor has a full life, complete with children, grandchildren, and a new great-grandchild as well as many friends and activities. She is quite capable of looking after herself and doesn’t need us to make sure she is alright.

Still, she is my friend and I have a responsibility to look after her as well as she looks after us. I believe we are all responsible for each other. It has been said that, “no man is an island.” We are all connected in ways we don’t even realize.

I’m glad I live in a place where people not only know their neighbors, they are friends. As for checking on the teller’s mom, all I can say is, “You’re welcome.”