Wild pigs made for amusing lunch

The return address on the envelope was baffling.

What in the world is the Center for Resolving Human-Wildlife Conflicts? And why in the world were they writing me?

But instead of tossing it in the stack for recycling, I noticed that this center I’d never heard of is based at Mississippi State University and is connected to the Extension Service.

So I opened it, still baffled.

The note inside informed me that in a few days I’d be receiving a public opinion survey related to the very issues the center is studying — or attempting to resolve.

Why me? I wondered.

Had someone in Mississippi gotten wind of my complaints about the squirrels in the backyard? Had they heard about the opossum that was briefly sighted over the holidays venturing into our garage?

As far as I knew, I had no significant conflicts with wildlife; then again, maybe some wildlife had been griping about me.

So I waited for the survey.

It arrived Friday. The front page was adorned with wildlife silhouettes: A wolf, an elk, a scorpion, a goose and something that looked like a wild boar. I was soon to find out which one of those was the focus of the survey.

The first few questions centered on how I would define wildlife and what problems we might have had (“Possum in garage,” I wrote. “Sometimes raccoons in trash.”)

Then they wanted to know what wildlife conservation or habitat enhancement organizations I belong to. I jotted down ACRES Land Trust, Friends of the Limberlost and the Society for the Protection of New Hampshire Forests, and felt a bit guilty about not listing more. Shouldn’t the Audubon Society be on the list? What about Ducks Unlimited?

Next question: “Are you a pet owner?”

Answer: Not since Shadow died.

Next question: “If no, would you like to have a pet?”

Aha! I figured it out! This was some sort of humane society pet adoption effort. But I was wrong.

So I answered, no. (I could have answered that we’re still getting over the loss of Shadow, but that was probably more than the Center for Resolving Human-Wildlife Conflicts wanted to know.)

Next question: “Have you ever hunted?”

Answer: No. It’s not my thing, but I’m comfortable with hunting. I’ve known and respected hunters all my life. When I was about 11, I thought it was something I wanted to do; but the moment passed and hasn’t returned. The questions continued, and as they did it became clear that the primary focus of the survey wasn’t wolves or elk or scorpions. It was wild pigs.

That’s right, I spent my lunchtime Friday filling out a survey about my feelings toward wild pigs.

Short answer: I don’t much like them from what I’ve read and heard.

They damage crops. They transmit diseases to livestock. They destroy habitat for wildlife I consider much more congenial than your average wild pig.

So I came down in favor of hunting them, even hunting them with dogs. I was less comfortable with the idea of jokers shooting at them from helicopters or a wild pig poisoning campaign.

As with most surveys, the divisions of opinion they were tallying became clear. There seemed to be a broad spectrum ranging from folks who feel wild pigs are essentially part of their family to folks who want to open up hunting preserves so we can have wild pork chops for dinner on Sunday.

My opinions fell somewhere between those two extremes.

And I’m guessing yours would too.

The survey was mailed back on Monday. I eagerly await a chance to weigh in on backyard squirrels, raccoons getting in the trash and that opossum I spotted over the holidays.

Here’s hoping the Center for Resolving Human-Wildlife Conflicts gets right on it.