Show kindness and tolerance this year

Thank goodness last year is finally, blessedly over. We lost so much last year; celebrities, family, friends, and most distressing of all, we lost civility and the ability to discern fact from fiction. So much nastiness reared its ugly head that I am almost ashamed to be an American.

Almost. Despite all the unpleasantness, I know in my heart that in addition to ugliness, there is beauty. There is tolerance. There is friendliness. There is happiness. These things won’t be denied. They are far more common than we realize.

To give you an example, I was in the grocery store yesterday. A lady and a young man had stopped in front of the spaghetti display. She was talking non-stop and it sounded like she was teaching the guy how to shop. I wondered if he was an exchange student or something similar.

As it happened, I was out of spaghetti and reached over her cart for the box I wanted, except it was the extra large size and I really didn’t want enough to feed us for the next year or so. She commented that it would keep. We chatted a bit and I went on my way.

We passed each other several more times. In the next to last aisle, she told the guy that we were friends now because it was a rule that once you pass someone 10 times in a store you became friends. He looked skeptical. She introduced herself as Deb and her friend as Joe. We shook hands and finished our shopping. She finished before I did and called out, “Bye, Diana,” on her way out the door.

It made my whole day. This is my America, not simply the country populated by those who post rude comments in the middle of the night. No, my America is made up of friendly strangers in the grocery store.

When I feel that everything is going to Hades in a handbasket, I remember the wildlife that also calls this land home. There is the otter and the egret I saw down by the river that made me smile. There is the hawk that plays king of the mountain on our telephone pole. There are cats and foxes that take shortcuts through the lawn. The evil squirrels that live in our yard continue to dig holes when they take a break from performing acrobatics in the trees. They are indifferent to the opinions of humans, especially humans who think they should stop digging up my tulips.

I think of the many kind notes I received after my mother died. Many were from people who know me only from the words I write. Their caring meant more than anyone could know.

Modern technology allows me to see pictures of our pregnant niece, the runner. Except for her belly, she still doesn’t look pregnant. With the approval of her doctor, she continues running. She looks and feels great. The child growing within her is a miracle, as all children are.

The grandchildren also pop up on the computer. Smiling or scowling, in a tree or on the ground, they are precious beyond belief. The rest of the family makes an occasional appearance and it always warms my heart to see them.

With the new year comes new opportunities. We have the opportunity to be the America we tell ourselves we are. We, each and every one of us, have the choice to be closer to our ideals. Or not. It isn’t necessary to have a lot of money, a perfect body, or political power. Sometimes all it takes to make someone’s day is a bit of friendly conversation with a stranger.

Thank goodness last year is over. Let’s remind ourselves that most people are friendly, helpful and even happy. Let’s make this new year one of kindness and tolerance rather than adversity.