Simple gifts are the most appreciated

Mother’s Day is rapidly approaching. The search for the perfect card and gift is on. Let me save you some time and money.

First, the card. While store-bought cards are beautiful and the words they contain are far more poetic than most of us can think of on our own, a hand-made card is always better. This applies for everyone. Moms are suckers for anything hand-made no matter how old she or her child is. This probably has to do with the notion that time spent is more valuable than dollars spent.

Speaking of presents, please don’t believe the advertisements which say that Mom would really like a new vacuum cleaner or other cleaning appliance unless she has specifically said that is what she wants. What Mom would really like is for someone to clean for her or do whatever household chores she dislikes.

The gifts that are most appreciated are simple. One year I gave Mom a visit to her best friend in Dayton. We didn’t know it at the time but the best friend was to die a few short months later that year.

Several times during that afternoon the two old friends got to laughing so hard they couldn’t talk. I am so glad they had a last visit on earth. Now they are both frolicking around heaven, and all their afflictions are gone.

Another year I took my grandmother to visit her sister-in-law, Ida, in Dayton. One of us got the date wrong and I showed up a day early. We went anyway. Ida graciously let us in and the two women caught up on each other’s lives.

Those two visits were the best gifts I had ever given either of them. They talked about it for months afterward. Most of my usual offerings ended up tucked in a drawer somewhere. But when I invested less money and more thought into what I could do for them, they appreciated it more.

When my grandmother was still alive, she would have me cut armloads of lilacs on Mother’s Day. She would commandeer a metal drinking glass and turn it into a vase. The rest of the flowers would go home with me. The car smelled like lilacs for weeks afterward.

After she died and the farm was sold, it was my turn to provide the lilacs for my mom. She liked them but not as much as I did. Mom preferred pansies to lilacs and these days, any lilacs I cut go in one of my many vases to provide fragrance for my own home. The lilacs that used to line my grandmother’s driveway were cut down years ago. The ones in my yard almost always are in bloom on Mother’s Day.

It surprises me that a little thing like taking my mom or grandmother to see a friend meant so much to them. It also amazes me that those are the only two gifts that I remember giving them. All the other carefully chosen cards and presents have been forgotten. Perhaps it really is the thought that counts.