Holiday rituals evolve over the years

Valentine hearts and candy are everywhere. The hearts flutter, and the candy beckons and when that doesn’t work they scream, “Buy me!” Sometimes I do, although I usually wait until after the holiday when they are cheaper. Packs of valentines with bad puns on their faces can often be found on the edges of the premature Easter candy displays.

I think of Valentine’s day as a minor holiday. It evokes memories of poorly decorated cigar boxes or tissue boxes. We were required to give a Valentine to every kid in the class so that nobody was left out. For those of you who don’t know what a cigar box is, ask your grandparents.

I think it was the only time in school that we were allowed to leave our chairs and talk softly as we stuffed our offerings into the boxes. Once they were all distributed we returned to our seats and dumped them out. We compared notes as in, “Look what Susan gave me.” And, “Did you see this one from Sammy?” We relished the opportunity to talk during class as much as we liked the cards themselves.

Once we were out of grade school, the Valentine ritual stopped. There were no more cheap cardboard boxes to decorate. If one received a card, it was special. Very few of us even noticed that the day of love was upon us.

In high school, the cards became more and more personalized. In our late teens and early twenties we started to notice the advertisements. Suddenly, we thought we were expected to treat our sweeties with cards, roses and expensive jewelry. A nice dinner was preferred to end the day. It was time to avoid the fast food places and search out the best sit-down restaurant we could afford.

At some point, life took over. We weighed the cost of out-of-season roses paired with expensive jewelry and decided that our money was better spent on rent. The best we could do was tell our families that we loved them and maybe produce a card. Eventually that was also abandoned.

Then along come grandchildren and suddenly Valentine’s Day is popular again. It took forever this year to find the special card for each kid. As usual, I found five or six cards suitable for one kid and nothing for the one that is most critical of my choices. After clogging up the greeting card aisle with several other people, I chose one and got out of the way,

I still have to get cards for the February birthdays. Once again, I find cards that are perfect for one sister-in-law and none for the others. I do have a little more time to shop because the February birthdays are mostly clustered at the end of the month.

All this card shopping is simply a way to reconnect with those we love. Those little tokens that fly through the postal service tell people that we still care even if we haven’t seen them in years. In these days of electronic communication finding a card on the mailbox is a special treat.

Even though Valentine’s Day is not much of a holiday in our house, we know that cards, flowers and candy are not necessary to show our feelings.

The celebration has evolved over the years. And so have we.