Credenza survived month of repair

If this column had a title rather than a headline, it might be, “A Man and His Credenza.”

But there have been times in the past month that I’ve wondered if it should be titled, “A Man and His Kindling.”

Let me explain, or try to.

A couple of years ago, we took on a remodeling project that turned a downstairs room into my study.

Years before, it had been the master bedroom. But when the twins grew up and launched lives of their own, we moved upstairs to their room, which was considerably more spacious.

(Yes, we failed to take into account our aging knees. But we figure the stairs will give us plenty of needed exercise.)

One of the focal points of my study, which also doubles as a guest room and a place to sort laundry, was to be some sort of entertainment center.

I wanted a place for our CDs and a radio tuner and a DVD player and a second TV for those rare occasions when my wife and I are not on the same page.

Finding something to house all that was a challenge that sent me furniture shopping, watching garage sales, and browsing around the internet.

I finally found something in the right scale and in the right price range. Sure, it was a little iffy. 

It was, after all, an eBay purchase, something that makes the Latin phrase “caveat emptor,” which translates as “let the buyer beware” especially relevant in the 21st century.

But I took a leap.

And though it took a couple of afternoons and a significant amount of not-suitable-for-publication-in-a-family-newspaper language on my part, the thing worked.

It was actually pretty cool, replicating an arts and crafts era design. Sure, it was particle board with veneer. But if you squinted just right, it might pass for oak.

The manufacturer was Sauder Furniture of Archbold, Ohio. That’s a name familiar to most of us who have put together bookcases or dorm room furniture over the years.

So it looked good. The electronics and all their numerous wires fit in just fine.

And all was well.

Until, that is, the top of the credenza took on a mind of its own.

It wasn’t noticeable at first. But after a couple years, the thing had developed an obvious dip in the middle, sort of like one of those sway-back horses that used to pop up in Three Stooges movies.

It wasn’t the end of the world, but it was a little irritating. The words “caveat emptor” kept echoing through the back of my head when I was listening to music.

So, on a whim last fall, I decided to contact Sauder Furniture about my problem.

And that’s where the tale gets interesting.

Sauder’s customer service folks got back to me within about 12 hours.

They were concerned. They asked me to take some pictures to send to them. They asked whether my study was carpeted.

Now, at this point, my expectations are minimal.

After all, I bought the thing on eBay. And I bought it two years ago. It was probably in some overstock warehouse for years before that.

But Sauder cared.

A few weeks later, I received a new credenza top — no warp, no sway-back — and a couple of other pieces to make the fix.

Wow. I was impressed.

Then it hit me: I had no idea how to take the thing apart and install a new top.

The only instructions offered were the original ones.

So what do you do?

What you do is this: Empty the credenza of its CDs, DVDs and all of its electronics equipment; empty the two bookcases on either side of their books and disconnect the speakers located there; lift the empty credenza a few feet away from the wall and gently rotate it onto its top; remove the base of the credenza; remove the sides of the credenza; disconnect all remaining bits and pieces of the credenza from the warped top; slide in the replacement top; connect the bits and pieces to the new top; attach the side units; re-attach the base; then rotate the credenza into an upright position.

You are now ready to start re-connecting and re-installing the speakers, the amplifier, the cable TV box, the TV, the DVD player, the turntable, the Firestick and anything else I may have forgotten. By the way, I hope you remembered to carefully label all those wires when you disconnected them.

And I hope you were smart enough to use your phone to take pictures of the back of the TV.

Along the way, of course, you’ll want to make sure the electronics work properly.

The credenza weighs a ton, so you don’t want to move it back into place until you’re sure that everything is perfect.

And then it is, perfect, that is. The stereo kicks in with Angelique Kidjo singing “Summertime.” The TV works, as does the Firestick connection. And the re-born credenza looks great.

You’re proud of Sauder Furniture. You’re proud of yourself. And the month of January has just evaporated.