In the long run, at least it’s not snow

The wet, wet spring has prompted a flood of questions.

Questions like:

•Has anyone come up with pontoons for lawnmowers? My mowing was delayed repeatedly by rainfall, and when I finally did mow, pontoons would have been helpful for the submerged area along the back fence.

•If I ever switch to an electric mower rather than my old gasoline-powered one, do I have to worry about electric shocks in a puddle-filled season like ours?

•What’s the proper footwear — other than hip waders — for the kind of spring flooding we’ve encountered this year and the past several years? I’ve tended to rely on a pair of Keen hiking boots that I have, but during the April flooding I quickly stepped in a puddle that was just deep enough to send cold water over the top and onto my socks.

•When — if you are a farmer — does the balance shift between tilling a field that routinely floods and dedicating those soggy acres to something like the Conservation Reserve Program? Do you crunch years of data? Or do you operate by the seat of your pants? Does stubbornness play a role in the decision-making?

•Isn’t it true that the hardest thing about flood control is that you never know if you’ve really succeeded? Measuring success depends upon so many factors beyond control: Rainfall amounts, soil conditions and more. Isn’t it true that you might think you’ve solved a problem only to encounter a whole new set of variables?

•Don’t those of us who have to deal with flooded streets, backyards, crawlspaces and basements feel a little whiny when we see news footage of people sitting on the roofs of their houses after chopping a hole in the attic? 

•What’s the worst flood in your memory? That freakish storm a couple of years back that dumped 10 inches of rain on Dunkirk? The 2015 flood? 2011? 1989? 1959? 1957?

•Have you noticed how much the robins enjoy a wet spring? The worms, not so much.

•Do you remember the first time, as a kid, that you noticed the “rainbows” on mud puddles? And weren’t you disappointed to find out that they could be traced back to a leaky crankcase?

•Can you really hear the grass grow? A day after mowing the lawn, it sure seems that way.

•Which hurts more after ignoring “high water” signs, driving ahead and getting stuck: The bill from the tow truck? Or the feeling of regret and foolishness?

•Are we really experiencing bouts of extreme weather? And is that related to climate change? Or are we just imagining that these things seem to come along more frequently than they used to?

•When something is dubbed “a 100 year flood,” who decides if that’s accurate? And what if you have two “100 year floods” in a 10-year period?

•Is there anything more obnoxious than motorists and truckers who drive through high water and send wakes that flood neighboring property owners and businesses?

•How much sump can a sump pump pump? And isn’t it impossible to sleep when the one in your basement is coming on at regular intervals?

•Can’t we re-schedule a few of these rainfalls to mid-July when the ground is as hard as concrete?

•And, finally, after all is said and done, aren’t you glad it’s not snow?