Take some time to remember mother

Mother’s Day is rapidly approaching. Some of us will be baking cakes or cookies to take to our mothers. Some of us will need to abandon our usual plans of taking her out to eat because of the pandemic. Some of us will be searching for a present for the one who raised us. Some of us will be holding a picture of mom because pictures and memories are all that we have left. Some of us will be searching for the one who gave us life. There are as many ways to celebrate Mother’s Day as there are mothers.

A part of me thinks that instead of giving our moms presents that will end up tucked away because they are too “nice” to use, they should give us gifts. I’m not talking about presents that can be purchased. No, I think it would be a great idea for families to sit down together and listen, really listen to all those old stories we have heard all our lives. 

In my family, there are stories that my brothers have adopted as their own. They have heard them so many times that they can say, “Remember when …” even though the event happened long before they were born. One of their favorites begins, “Remember when Grandma almost tipped the tractor over?” This occurred at least 10 years before they came to be. The story has a happy ending as she finally got the front wheels back on the ground and backed out of the ditch she hadn’t known was there. Depending on who is telling it, the tale takes a while to relate and involves lots of hand motions.

It would be interesting to hear the stories that our mom’s mom and grandparents used to tell to their children. It would be interesting to hear how the black sheep of the family got that way. It would help to know how they met their spouses and why they fell in love with them. There are so many questions and so few answers.

It seems that it is not until we become middle aged that we realize how quickly time is moving.. The time to find out where we came from is rapidly running out. I was lucky to begin my own quest into the past before Mom died. Even so, there were many questions that went unanswered.

We did manage to go through a couple boxes of pictures in her last year or so. Sometimes she remembered people and sometimes she didn’t. I have one picture of three somber women, The first time we found it she didn’t know who they were. The second time she said it was her grandmother's family. The third time she said it was a picture of the “old” aunts. I assume it is of her great-aunts but neither of us could put names with the pictures.

 If you have old photographs, please write on the back who is in the picture and the location. The best thing is to write in pencil as ink sometimes smears.

 In this day and age, many of our photographs are digital. As such, they are susceptible to gremlins who delight in deleting the ones you love most. I urge you to have prints made of your favorites. And please label them. You may think you will always remember the name of your favorite cousin but it seldom works that way.

For Mother’s Day this year I urge you to give your mom your full attention. If there are boxes of old photographs hidden in the back of a closet, drag them out and spend an afternoon reliving old memories with her. If your mom has passed on, then take a few minutes to remember her. 

Mother’s Day is coming soon. I hope it is a good one.