Plans are being modified

We are rapidly running out of time to decide how we are going to celebrate the holidays.

Will we drape ourselves in some kind of bubble in order to stay safe at gatherings? Will we prepare a plate or two to be dropped off at someone’s house? How about setting up times to get together via computer? Will we dispatch our youngest to show our oldest how to do that?

Some of us will thumb our nose at the pandemic and gather together anyway. There may or may not be masks, hand washing or social distancing at these gatherings. They may or may not regret the decision to ignore the pandemic as one or another of their loved ones get sick. 

Others are celebrating with immediate family only. One of our nieces had planned an elaborate present for her husband’s 40th birthday. All her plans had to be scrapped. She settled on a virtual celebration and a relaxing day with just her, her husband and their two children.

I think we are staying home during the holidays. Most of the Christmas shopping will probably be done online. The post office will carry our gifts to our families.

The only present we want is to hold our loved ones close. That is not an option.

A part of me misses the days when the house was filled with family. I miss having a kid’s table and a grown-up table. I miss cooking all day so that I could bring something to be shared. I miss catching up with aunts, uncles and cousins. 

I miss listening to a toddler say grace when the only words anyone could understand were “God” and “Amen.” Presumably God understood the rest of the prayer. Depending on which family we were with, praying seemed to be optional as one family regularly said grace and the other didn’t.

Preparing a big meal for our relatives is challenging. One has developed lactose intolerance. One can’t have gluten. Another thinks corn syrup will be the end of us. It seems that each of us has one thing or another that limits what we will or will not eat. Maybe it is best that we spend the holidays by ourselves. 

Many years ago, Mom and I would go shopping in the weeks between Thanksgiving and Christmas. It was just the two of us. That was back in the days when driving through snow or after dark didn’t bother me. There was no walker, and no sore knees or any other medical problem to be taken into consideration. We took the entire day to get most of our shopping done. The most memorable of those shopping trips was the time we were walking through a store and Mom pointed at a picture of a model and said it was too bad that I didn’t look like that. 

Those days are gone. We are much too old to sit at the kid’s table. Our families are distributed across the country. Many, if not most, of our older relatives have passed on. We are now the eldest ones in our immediate families. The last time I saw my cousin, Kim, she told me that I was now the matriarch of the family. I prefer to think that I am now the keeper of the stories.

This past year, when the world was topsy-turvy, will surely yield tales to be told when we are once again encouraged to meet each other face to face. We are social creatures and staying apart for our own good is not easy.

For now, we are doing our best to stay home and away from everyone else.