Take time to thank moms

Mother’s Day is fast approaching. It has been five years since I have had to buy a Mother’s Day present. It has been that long since I have baked cookies or a cake for her. It has been that long since I have chanted to her doctors, nurses and other medical personnel, “She can’t hear you. She reads lips. If she can’t see your mouth she has no idea what you are saying.”

On one of her last days a team of medical people came into her hospital room and tried to turn her so that she didn’t get bed sores. The guy in charge was behind her. He softly called her name. He tried several times to get her attention. I finally left the room. I wanted to tell him to speak up and go around the bed so she could see his mouth. It wouldn’t have made a difference because she wasn’t in the room. Her body was there but her soul was not.

On one hand I am glad she is gone. All this mask wearing would have prevented her from knowing what people say. She didn’t know sign language and as far as I know nobody else in the family knows it either.

I miss her.

I miss all the mothers I have had through the years. Mom, Grandma, assorted teachers and caregivers, two mothers-in-law, neighbors, and even an aunt or two filled the role. They all had their own problems to deal with and they all contributed to the woman I have become.

Then there are the daughters. We often don’t know what kind of mother we are until we watch our children with their children. That is one thing I wish my mothers-in-law could see. I think they would be so happy to see how well their grands and great-grands have turned out.

Those of us whose mothers have died have a duty to pass on tidbits of their lives. Our children and grandchildren need to hear the stories of what our lives were like before they were born. They need to hear the tales of when their grandmother lined up her grandchildren and squirted whipped cream into their mouths.

Children need to hear about when a great-grandmother re-roofed the barn by herself. They need to hear about hitching up a buggy to go to the neighbor’s house to use the phone. One of the kids was sick and they needed to call a doctor. They need to hear about visiting Ella Maude. Ella Maude was my first mother-in-law’s sister. Kids need to hear about the time their mom tried to pick up a bee and had been stung. All those stories that the older generation related until we could repeat them word for word need to be preserved.

Even the unhappy stories should be kept. They provide a balance to the tales of happier times and let us know that not every story has a happy fairy tale ending.

The older we get the faster time flies. We think that there is always tomorrow. Whatever is going on in our lives seems more important than spending time with our parents and other elders.

I can assure you that spending time with your mothers, grandmothers and any other maternal figures is far more appreciated than any gift you can buy.

Yes. Mother’s Day is fast approaching. If your mother is still alive take some time to go see her even if you two are not getting along at the moment. If she has passed on then take a moment or so to think of her.

Good or bad, our moms have shaped our lives. Mother’s Day has been set aside to pause and remember all the things they have done for us. Take time to visit them if possible or make a phone call if you can’t be there in person. The holiday will be here before you know it.