You are brave, smart, strong, loved

“Everyday when we drop Isabella off at school I say, “repeat after me,” “I am brave, I am strong, I am smart, I am loved.” 

That quote from Isabella’s mom, Margaret, just floored me. What a great way to start the day. How many of us acknowledge that we, ourselves, are brave, strong, smart and loved? I would venture a guess that most people say, “Hurry up, we’re going to be late,” far more often than affirming that their child is, indeed, brave, strong, smart and loved.

I don’t want to mislead you into thinking that Isabella has perfect parents, although I happen to think she does. After all, Isabella’s sister is the girl from a previous column who turned herself into a “blue monster” with the aid of a marker. No, I don’t know if she is still blue.

It seems like we live in a topsy-turvy world. Most of the time I feel like just the opposite of brave, strong, smart and loved. There are many magazines and other media advertising numerous ways to become brave, strong, smart and loved. Therefore I am not the only one seeking those attributes. I am lucky in that I feel loved almost all the time. 

Bravery is vastly overrated. Bravery implies that there is danger involved. I prefer the ostrich approach. Any problem will go away if ignored, given enough time. I don’t know anyone who agrees with me about this. 

Being strong has many different meanings. Being strong enough to open a new jar of pickles gives me satisfaction far out of proportion to the feat. Being strong enough to deal with whatever health crisis threatens me or a member of my family is merely a facade. Inside I am shaking like a leaf and waiting for benign neglect to kick in.

Then we come to smart. My mom always told me I was smart. I have come to the painful realization that she was wrong. The older I get the less I know. For example, I am still trying to figure out the smart phone my daughter gave me. 

Not only is the phone confusing, it constantly devises new ways to incite panic. It has finally decided to speak English. Now it wants to speak out loud. All I want it to do is make a phone call and receive calls. That’s it. Apparently that is no longer an option. 

Brave. Strong. Smart. Loved.

Four little words. In addition to Isabella and her family, all of my extended family are beyond brave, super strong, scary smart and loved more than any of them know. Have I ever told any of them this? No. If I had, they wouldn’t have believed me. More than likely they would have turned it into a joke. For some reason we don’t accept compliments well. 

If someone were to tell you that you were brave would you say thank you? Or would you belittle the complement? How about if someone says you are strong? Would you shrug it off? Being smart is a little tricky. If you are truly smart then you know how to say thank you without implying that whoever called you smart is, in fact, dumb.

Why do we insist that complements are bad? Perhaps one day, more people will tell their children that they are loved and worthy of that love. Those are powerful words. Those are words that could change the world for the better.

In case nobody has told you yet today, you are brave, you are strong, you are smart and you are loved far more than you will ever know.