Following through on choice can be tough

I recently surpassed the 20-year anniversary of joining Facebook. That means I’ve been on the social media platform for more than half my life.

I remember when a guy in my dorm told me about it. I was confused at first, but joined anyway.

Little did anyone know how much of an impact it would have on our lives two decades later.

Over the years, Facebook, and social media in general, have been great places for users to keep in touch with high school friends, see what’s going on with out-of-state family or reconnect with those we met at different chapters in our lives.

It’s a place to expand our knowledge; photography, writing, drone laws, motorcycles — there’s groups or communities on Facebook for just about anything. It’s a place to celebrate life’s small, and big, victories, or to find comfort in times of need or to help others in distress.

It’s even a place for a kid from Saginaw, Michigan, to build a brand as a journalist and photographer in East Central Indiana.

Unfortunately, there was also no telling back in 2004 how much of a cesspool it would become, either.

And that’s the reason why Chrissy and I have made the decision to keep Baby Schanz off of our social media. If you remember way back in April, I wrote this: “To protect her privacy, we’re keeping our daughter’s name and photographs off of social media and out of the public realm, which will be a topic for a later column.”

Here’s that column.

You can bet your bottom dollar I’ve wanted to share with the world every photo and every video capturing each of her milestones. Her smile. Her laugh. Her hair. Her outfits. Her crawling. Her first food(s).

I want to show it all.

I want to scream from the rooftops how proud I am at how big she’s getting or how smart she’s becoming, despite the fact at times I want it to slow way down.

But Chrissy and I went to great lengths to ensure our family is on board with our wishes to keep our daughter off social media, so we have to set the example by not reneging on our promise. 

And that’s a tough thing to do as a photographer who likes to show off his work.

Not being too active on social media is probably the hardest thing about being a millennial parent in 2024. I “grew up” with Facebook and social media, and we’re in an age of oversharing in the spirit of attempting to go viral or getting the hit of dopamine when someone likes our posts.

We’re sticking to our guns, though.

My daughter turned 8 months old last week, and only 11 photos of her show up on my Facebook account. Five of them were from the day she was born, and those are the only five that show her face. Two of those 11 were posted by others (one of them was my wife), and Baby Schanz’s face was covered in each.

We’re not giving up on our word.

Sure, I’ve posted to Facebook my thoughts about being a father — these columns get posted when they’re published, after all — and talked about things my daughter has done, but it’s never with photos or videos. 

And let me tell you, I have a ton of them I’d like to share.

I like to say my daughter is the most photographed child no one will ever see.

The toxicity of social media, both with misinformation/disinformation and the addictive nature of it, aren’t the main reasons why we’ve chosen to keep our child off the platforms.

It’s because of potential situations she could encounter as she gets older.

Put yourself in her shoes, or any child’s shoes, for a second.

You’re between 8 and 10 years old. Maybe even a preteen.

You’re out in public at the grocery store or post office with your parents. They run into one of their social media friends with whom you’ve never met.

The adults chat it up a bit, then the stranger looks to you and says, “Wow, you’re getting so big!” or comments on something recently that’s happened in your life that your parents shared to social media. Maybe it’s something you’re embarrassed about or didn’t want others to know about.

This stranger knows so much about your life — probably more than even you do.

How do you imagine you’d feel in that situation?

Confused? Awkward? Anxious? Unsafe? Scared?

I know I’d probably feel all of those emotions if I was in that situation.

Because of social media, I know more about the goings on of the children of my friends than I do my friends themselves. The youngsters are in dance. Or cheer. Or they’re playing football for the first time. Or they went out on a limb, tried out for a travel soccer team and got selected to play!

But I don’t know anything about my friends’ lives.

Maybe that’s my own fault for not communicating.

There are other dangers of living in the internet age, too. Hackers can compromise my social media accounts and then they could have a ton of information about my family.

AI is becoming more mainstream, and who’s to say how it can be weaponized in the future? Celebrities are having their voices manipulated by AI and leading others to believe the sounds they hear are their idols. That means someone could potentially use my daughter’s voice against us for their personal gain somehow.

And of course there are those vile humans who prey on the innocence of children. 

I just don’t want to put my daughter — or any other children if we decide to add to our family — in any of those situations if I’m able to avoid it.

And refraining to show her off on social media is the prime way to make sure it doesn’t happen.

Please don’t take this as a slam piece to the parents who overshare. This is not my intent, nor is it me passing judgment to those parents who wish to share what’s happening in the lives of their offspring. They’re free to do what they want with their own family and social media accounts.

That’s just not how we’re going to operate.

Chrissy and I choosing not to put her on social media is, in our eyes, protecting our daughter in one of the simplest ways possible; not sharing altogether.

There’s no telling what social media will be like in five years, let alone six months from now. At this time, however, my wife and I just don’t feel comfortable creating an online presence for our daughter until she’s old enough to understand what that means.

We did, however, create an email address for her so we can send her messages or milestones and let her look back on them when she’s older.

Close friends — those who we interact with outside of social media — and family get all the updates, photos and videos they need. Plus, they get to see Baby Schanz in person, which is the ultimate joy.

With regard to telling the world about our lives in the internet age, we’re just choosing to keep it old school.

It’s what’s best for our family.

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Chris Schanz is a former CR Sports Editor who has lived his entire adult life using social media. Send tips for breaking the addiction to [email protected].