Parents take no chances

Do hospitals give discounts for frequent visitors? 

Is there some sort of punch card like you get at coffee shops? Buy five, get the sixth one free?

Asking for a friend.

Seriously, though. Do they?

My daughter is approaching 14 months old. For the first eight months of her life, the only time she had been in a hospital was when she came into this world.

She’s been there three times in the last six months.

And each time, much ado about nothing.

We were visiting family for Thanksgiving in November just outside of Toledo, Ohio. One morning while we were hanging out in the hotel room, Baby Schanz and I were sitting on one of the two beds in our room. I turned my head for just a second, and she decided to dive off the end of the bed square onto her face.

She wailed for a brief moment and then seemed fine, only visibly suffering from a rug burn on her nose.

To be safe, however, we went to the local emergency room to get her checked out.

For four hours, doctors sporadically monitored to make sure she wasn’t experiencing any symptoms of a head injury. It was their way to try to avoid any radiation scans unless they were absolutely necessary.

Other than the battle scar on her face, she didn’t show any signs of nose-diving off the bed, and we were discharged.

Better safe than sorry.

Five months later, just a few short weeks before our trip to Ireland, we visited the emergency room of our nearby hospital.

One evening I picked her up from day care and she seemed to be breathing laboriously. The child of two parents who suffer from asthma, she’s bound to be afflicted by the disease, and being unable to breathe is one of my biggest fears.

We kept a close eye on her briefly but decided not to take any chances and have the professionals decide the best course of action.

Again, being unable to breathe is my No. 1 fear, and I’d hate for us to be stubborn, not take her to the hospital, and then she gets worse.

Three hours in the ER, with only so much as the respiratory therapist vacuuming mucus out of her nose, we departed for home.

Made a mountain out of a molehill.

Just last week, we were in the waiting area of our neighborhood emergency room yet again.

Our daughter has had no adverse reactions to food and has shown no signs of allergies.

We started cutting her bottles with whole milk to transition her away from breastmilk since the beginning of April. She took to it rather quickly with no issues.

It seems the only thing bothering her lately has been an aggressive diaper rash we’ve been treating for a solid month now. Just when we think we’ve got it beat, it returns with a vengeance.

Then, in the early afternoon on Thursday, we got a message from day care that she had an issue with a bowel movement.

Chrissy then messaged our daughter’s physician to ask their advice, and without hesitation, they told my wife to go to the ER.

A half hour later, we’re being admitted for the second time in two months.

We took the diaper with the evidence with us, and as the attending doctor tested it, he didn’t see anything alarming.

Just another hullabaloo.

As a stubborn adult, trips to the hospital have always been a last resort.

Injury? Rub some dirt on it and rest. Sinus issues? Wait it out.

But for my firstborn, I’m not taking chances. There are people who have spent their entire lives becoming experts in children’s health.

I’ll let them tell me when something’s wrong.

Until then, where can I get one of those loyalty cards?