Adding to his resume (09/18/07)

My resume needs revision.

A new set of skills has been added. As of this summer, I think I fully qualify for the title of "Field Assistant to a Wetlands Specialist."

Or, if that's too complicated, maybe I could just substitute "Husband."

Let me explain, or try to.

A few years back, my lovely wife got the hankering to expand her horizons.

At first, she looked at landscape architecture and took a couple of courses at Ball State to see how she would like it.

Now, that in itself was no small accomplishment. After all, to return to the college classroom about 25 years after your graduation is a pretty intimidating prospect.

You're not just a little older than the other students; you're old enough to be their parent.

But it went well, and before too long a plan began to take shape.

Landscape architecture was jettisoned, and instead she began to focus on what had been at the core of her career for most of two decades: The environment.

When we lived in Indianapolis, roughly during the pleistocene era, Connie worked at the air pollution control division of the Indiana State Board of Health. That was before the Indiana Department of Environmental Management was born.

There was, in fact, something of a Jay County mafia in the air pollution control section at the time. Two of my high school classmates, Ken Ritter and Dick Zeiler, worked in the same lab as my wife.

Our move back here to work at the newspaper interrupted Connie's environmental career, but only temporarily. After a few interruptions for little things like the birth of our first children, she found herself back in the same field, this time working for the city of Portland and earning her certification as a wastewater treatment plant operator.

After another interruption for the birth of our third daughter, she joined Meshberger Brothers Stone Corporation, where she has worked in quality control and has handled a vast array of environmental permitting issues.

Given all that, it should be no surprise that she decided to pursue a master of science degree in environmental management.

No, scratch that. It should ALWAYS be a surprise when someone in their mid 50s has the courage to go back to the classroom and pursue an advanced degree. Her decision made me incredibly proud and has immeasurably inspired our daughters. (It's kind of cool when daughters can brag about their moms.)

All of that is a roundabout way of getting to my resume revisions.

Connie's in the process of doing research for her master's thesis. It focuses on wetlands, trying to measure how constructed wetlands created under federal incentives are behaving and how they compare to natural wetlands.

Since landowners get federal incentives to create wetlands, it only makes sense to measure whether we're getting the environmental benefits, in terms of vegetation and habitat, that we're paying for.

So, that's her job. The cool one.

Mine is simpler and requires far less knowledge.

I carry stuff.

That's it.

I carry stuff.

I carry a couple of incredibly long tape measures, a GPS unit, a compass that I can't figure out, clipping shears, plastic bags for samples, and anything else I can think of. I've taken to making sure I have a Swiss army knife in one pocket of my windbreaker and a Leatherman in the other.

Most recently, the work has consisted of staking out 1000 square meter plots in selected wetlands Connie has identified in the county. The work is done, of course, with the consent of the landowner.

My job, obviously, is simple. With my help, the 1000 square meters is marked out with flags in 10-meter by 10-meter plots. Connie then goes back and does something I can't begin to imagine, the cataloging of a "vegetative index," identifying every plant that grows and where it grows in order to understand how the wetland is behaving.

To me, it's simply amazing.

But I doubt my role will do much to polish my resume.

On the other hand, I can always argue that - like the farmer in the ancient bad joke - I am outstanding in my field.[[In-content Ad]]