July 23, 2014 at 2:10 p.m.
Another side to the story
Editor's Mailbag
By To the editor:-
There are two sides to every story, and this is the other side of the story in response to the Redkey woman who wrote about her mentally challenged son. He will be 35 years old in October and the apron strings should have been cut a long time ago.
She left out a few things and facts. Like the woman she is talking about is his ex-wife who divorced him after two years of marriage. After having lived with him for eight years and put up with the abuse and physical violence from him and his family.
She has never taken calling cards to him in jail. That is not allowed. You are not allowed to even mail any such items to the inmates. She divorced him three long years ago and has married someone else. She is trying to get on with her life, which is hard to do because she is always watching her back. The only time she feels safe is when she knows he is in jail.
The court did have doctors check him out to see if he was mentally challenged or if he understood what he was doing to her was wrong. They said that he was competent and that he knew what he was doing. There has not been 10 restraining orders. There have been three and they are usually granted to her after she has been beaten by him and had to seek medical attention. She has had broken bones from him and even had to have surgery because of the beatings.
And it is not only her that he causes problems with. She has two daughters that he has caused problems with. They can’t even drive down the road without him throwing things at the windows or jumping on the car or even chasing the car on foot.
We live behind locked doors and windows and leave the answering machine on because the phone rings all the time from him calling. They have had the number changed to unlisted but he still gets it somehow. They finally just unplug the phones because it is so bad. He has also left threatening messages on the machine.
When he got out of jail in April he was let out earlier than was set in court and he was out for two days before he showed up at the house and walked through the front door like he owned the place and told her that she was going to divorce her husband and that he was the boss and she would come back home where she belongs.
She told him that she has a good life now and as far as she was concerned that she would never give up that for him. That she has someone now who doesn’t beat on her all the time or in-laws who harass her all the time. And what makes him think she would want to come back to him just because he says?
He might have been raised that the man is boss and the women are dirt under their feet. But she wasn’t raised that way. Marriage is a partnership. You are equal to each other. And she chose not to live the way he believes.
He asked her one time when they were living together why her family was so nice to each other. She told him that’s the way families are supposed to be. Not running around beating each other up all the time. Treat each other with love and respect. So if his mother thinks her way of thinking is a sick game, then I feel sorry for them. Because they don’t know how to treat each other with love and respect. Because sometimes you lose the best things that could ever happen to you because you choose to live that way.
But she forgot to tell about the times she has come begging her to take him back because all he does is cry over not being with her and how he would buy things for her as a peace offering and (the mother) would bring them to me for him. The ex-wife tried to get him into counseling, but he was told to lie to the doctor by his family because it wasn’t any of the doctor’s business about what kind of life he had or what it was like for him when he was growing up.
This woman has a granddaughter who is only 7-months-old. And when he is throwing things at our cars or jumping on them, it could cause a wreck someday. He doesn’t know if she is in the car and she could get hurt. Why should she have to be hurt because of the stupid stunts he pulls because he doesn’t get his way?
His family is not with him 24/7. They drop him off in Dunkirk all the time and leave town. So they don’t see the things he is doing. And when he does something and ends up in jail it is never his fault. It is always hers to hear the family tell it.
And as for who calls the cops on him, it isn’t always her. She does have very nice neighbors and they don’t want to hear the fighting because he wants to come down and stand outside in the yard yelling or walking around the house beating on all the windows and doors.
You tell me who is the victim. No woman deserves to be beaten on or stalked or even harassed. If you print this letter, fine. Even if you don’t, fine, because I know the truth to this story. I am the one living it.
Thank you,
The ex-wife,
Donna Schick
Dunkirk
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She left out a few things and facts. Like the woman she is talking about is his ex-wife who divorced him after two years of marriage. After having lived with him for eight years and put up with the abuse and physical violence from him and his family.
She has never taken calling cards to him in jail. That is not allowed. You are not allowed to even mail any such items to the inmates. She divorced him three long years ago and has married someone else. She is trying to get on with her life, which is hard to do because she is always watching her back. The only time she feels safe is when she knows he is in jail.
The court did have doctors check him out to see if he was mentally challenged or if he understood what he was doing to her was wrong. They said that he was competent and that he knew what he was doing. There has not been 10 restraining orders. There have been three and they are usually granted to her after she has been beaten by him and had to seek medical attention. She has had broken bones from him and even had to have surgery because of the beatings.
And it is not only her that he causes problems with. She has two daughters that he has caused problems with. They can’t even drive down the road without him throwing things at the windows or jumping on the car or even chasing the car on foot.
We live behind locked doors and windows and leave the answering machine on because the phone rings all the time from him calling. They have had the number changed to unlisted but he still gets it somehow. They finally just unplug the phones because it is so bad. He has also left threatening messages on the machine.
When he got out of jail in April he was let out earlier than was set in court and he was out for two days before he showed up at the house and walked through the front door like he owned the place and told her that she was going to divorce her husband and that he was the boss and she would come back home where she belongs.
She told him that she has a good life now and as far as she was concerned that she would never give up that for him. That she has someone now who doesn’t beat on her all the time or in-laws who harass her all the time. And what makes him think she would want to come back to him just because he says?
He might have been raised that the man is boss and the women are dirt under their feet. But she wasn’t raised that way. Marriage is a partnership. You are equal to each other. And she chose not to live the way he believes.
He asked her one time when they were living together why her family was so nice to each other. She told him that’s the way families are supposed to be. Not running around beating each other up all the time. Treat each other with love and respect. So if his mother thinks her way of thinking is a sick game, then I feel sorry for them. Because they don’t know how to treat each other with love and respect. Because sometimes you lose the best things that could ever happen to you because you choose to live that way.
But she forgot to tell about the times she has come begging her to take him back because all he does is cry over not being with her and how he would buy things for her as a peace offering and (the mother) would bring them to me for him. The ex-wife tried to get him into counseling, but he was told to lie to the doctor by his family because it wasn’t any of the doctor’s business about what kind of life he had or what it was like for him when he was growing up.
This woman has a granddaughter who is only 7-months-old. And when he is throwing things at our cars or jumping on them, it could cause a wreck someday. He doesn’t know if she is in the car and she could get hurt. Why should she have to be hurt because of the stupid stunts he pulls because he doesn’t get his way?
His family is not with him 24/7. They drop him off in Dunkirk all the time and leave town. So they don’t see the things he is doing. And when he does something and ends up in jail it is never his fault. It is always hers to hear the family tell it.
And as for who calls the cops on him, it isn’t always her. She does have very nice neighbors and they don’t want to hear the fighting because he wants to come down and stand outside in the yard yelling or walking around the house beating on all the windows and doors.
You tell me who is the victim. No woman deserves to be beaten on or stalked or even harassed. If you print this letter, fine. Even if you don’t, fine, because I know the truth to this story. I am the one living it.
Thank you,
The ex-wife,
Donna Schick
Dunkirk
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