July 23, 2014 at 2:10 p.m.

Bullying dialogue opened by F.O.R.T. (04/26/06)


By By BETH A. CLAYTON-

FORT RECOVERY — A group of concerned parents, administrators and community members met Tuesday night to discuss a topic to which no student is immune.

Bullying has long been on the radar of those invested in school safety, but in light of recent events in Fort Recovery, Focus On Responsible Teens (F.O.R.T.), a group of parents and community members dedicated to providing parent education about issues affecting children switched its latest open forum topic from prescription drug use among teens to bullying.

“We really weren’t sure what to do it on, but as everyone knows, there have been some problems with name-calling and some threats have been made,” said Maggie Hartings, Chief of Fort Recovery Police and coordinator of F.O.R.T.

Earlier this month, three Fort Recovery High School students were arrested and charged with inciting panic after allegedly threatening the safety of other students.

Hartings said that the investigation revealed that the kids, who have since been released to their parents, had been the targets of bullying since their elementary school years, which seemed to be the catalyst of the alleged threats.

Leading Tuesday evening’s discussion was Roberta Donovan, a counselor with Foundations Behavioral Health Services in Celina, Ohio.

The meeting began with a brainstorming session of what it means to be a bully or a victim of bullying, including the difference between teasing, which most kids and adults do at some point in time, and bullying, which is meant to intimidate and demean another person and generally continues for days on end.

Donovan said that parents should look for signs such as isolation, academic decline, anxiety about attending school, unexplained bruising of changes in sleeping or eating patterns.

Some of the strategies offered to parents whose children face bullying at school included alerting school authorities, teaching children to look the bully in the eye and stand up for themselves, helping children enlist a close friend to defend them or enrolling children in classes and activities outside school to broaden their circle of friends and increase self-confidence.

One parent also suggested a strategy known as “killing them with kindness,” or befriending a bully who is likely suffering some sort of emotional trauma.

“If you watch a bully long enough, they show pain,” said Fort Recovery parent Amy Wendel. She said that while none of her four school-age children has been the victim of extreme bullying, it is likely that no child will go through school without dealing with a bully at some point in time.

Wendel said that by explaining to her daughter that the boy who was picking on her may not have a happy home life, her daughter was better able to cope with the bullying and reach out to befriend the bully, which ultimately defused the situation.

Schools can also help with early intervention and supervision and empowering students to stand up for one another.

“There is a bully, and there is a victim, but there are also observers,” said superintendent David Riel. Riel stressed the importance of teaching children responsibility to the welfare of their fellow students at an age when no one wants to be the “tattle tale.”

Above all, Donovan stressed communication with children — in part to determine if their child is being bullied or actually being the bully.

“Kids will tune you out, so treat talking to your kids like a commercial,” said Donovan advised. “Keep it short and concise, but repeat the same message over and over again.”

Donovan also pointed out that bullying does not end with adulthood. If unchecked, bullies can, in extreme cases, be more likely to be involved in criminal activity, and those who have been bullied may find themselves in abusive relationships if they don’t learn to stand up for themselves.

Furthermore, more benign aggressive, manipulative and belittling behaviors can be seen at home and in the workplace well into adulthood.

“Kids may not listen to you any other time, but they will hear you when you pick up the phone and gossip to your girlfriend saying ‘I can’t believe she wore that,’” said Donovan to a ripple of knowing laughter.

High School principal Ed Snyder, who also has a daughter enrolled in Fort Recovery High School, echoed those sentiments saying that parents need to recognize their responsibility to be aware of their actions and the actions of other family members and adults to which the kids are exposed.

“It’s education for all of us, not just our kids,” said Snyder. “Most of the behaviors our kids have are learned behaviors and they learn them from somewhere.”

Other efforts to curb bullying in Fort Recovery include creation of a task force comprised of school administrators and community health and law enforcement officials and formation of focus groups including all high school students to discuss bullying with a mental health professional.[[In-content Ad]]
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