July 23, 2014 at 2:10 p.m.
Insecure about security (10/15/03)
Dear Reader
By By Jack Ronald-
It’s 4:30 a.m., and you’re sitting on one of the cold steel benches at Manas International Airport, a squat little concrete structure outside of Bishkek, Kyrgyzstan, not far from where U.S. Air Force troops are based in support of the mission in Afghanistan.
You’ve already checked all but one of your bags.
And you’ve paid the $10 get-out-of-Kyrgyzstan fee, also known as the airport tax.
You’ve also cleared security, having walked through the metal detector and having had your briefcase screened.
But it makes no difference.
About 5:30 a.m., a little guy who looks like he could be an undercover cop or a heavy in a kung-fu movie hustles through the crowd of passengers waiting for the 6:05 a.m. flight to London. He mutters something rapidly to one of his assistants.
Before you know it, everyone is being herded back to the other side of the security check-point.
There have been rumors of a bomb threat, someone tells you, so you get in line again.
Thirty minutes later, with the plane ready to leave, the last of the passengers have been screened again. This time, every carry-on bag is thoroughly searched by hand.
There are no bombs, which is reassuring.
About five hours later, the flight lands at Baku, Azerbaijan, an oil-rich place on the Caspian Sea which generates plenty of airliner traffic.
For reasons no one can explain, it’s time to get off the airplane and go into Baku International Airport. The same steel benches await you.
All carry-on bags must be taken with you off the plane, and after a wait of about half an hour everyone must go back through a security check-point to get back on the plane.
There are two theories about the Baku on-off ritual. One is that it’s intended to steer traffic to a duty free shop and a souvenir stand. The other — more likely — scenario is that a member of the family of the president of Azerbaijan has been given a lucrative contract to provide security services at the airport.
About three and a half hours later, you’ve arrived at London’s Heathrow Airport, the busiest airport on earth and one which is highly conscious about security.
Because you have to change terminals to catch a flight to the U.S., you’ll face your fourth security check of the day. This one involves a long, long line because of the volume of passengers. In front of you, a weary 3-year-old breaks down into tears.
You know how he feels.
Finally, after emptying your pockets again, maybe taking off your shoes, and possibly getting patted down, you’re ready to enter the new terminal.
When your flight is finally called, you scurry to the appropriate gate where you encounter — you guessed it — another security check-point.
This one is used on a random basis, involving a system beyond the ken of mere mortals. Some folks breeze through; others are forced to do everything but stand on one foot and whistle “Dixie.”
Finally, you’re homeward bound. Another eight and a half hours and you should stumble out into Chicago’s O’Hare Airport.
There, everything goes smoothly. A customs official catches your eye. “Frequent traveler?” he asks. You nod, and he points you to a booth marked “military” which has no waiting line.
“Just salute or limp when you go through,” he says.
Immigration and customs cleared, with your checked bags momentarily re-claimed before they’re handed back to the airline, you hit security again.
The checked bags have to be unlocked and opened and examined before they can board a flight to Dayton, Ohio. No problem, but when you arrive as an international passenger at O’Hare and want to get to Dayton, you have to change terminals.
Which means: Another security checkpoint.
This is maybe the fifth or sixth of the day, but you’re lucky. There are no lines, which is unusual. O’Hare can be a bottleneck at times.
It’s late at night when you touch down in Dayton. Because of time zone changes, it’s been one long, long day.
And when you go to claim your bags, you find, to no one’s surprise, that they’re missing. Stuck in Chicago thanks to that extra security check.
Don’t worry. They’ll arrive the next day.
And inside, you’ll find a nice note from the transportation security folks who inspected your dirty clothes and souvenirs.
Are we feeling secure yet?
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You’ve already checked all but one of your bags.
And you’ve paid the $10 get-out-of-Kyrgyzstan fee, also known as the airport tax.
You’ve also cleared security, having walked through the metal detector and having had your briefcase screened.
But it makes no difference.
About 5:30 a.m., a little guy who looks like he could be an undercover cop or a heavy in a kung-fu movie hustles through the crowd of passengers waiting for the 6:05 a.m. flight to London. He mutters something rapidly to one of his assistants.
Before you know it, everyone is being herded back to the other side of the security check-point.
There have been rumors of a bomb threat, someone tells you, so you get in line again.
Thirty minutes later, with the plane ready to leave, the last of the passengers have been screened again. This time, every carry-on bag is thoroughly searched by hand.
There are no bombs, which is reassuring.
About five hours later, the flight lands at Baku, Azerbaijan, an oil-rich place on the Caspian Sea which generates plenty of airliner traffic.
For reasons no one can explain, it’s time to get off the airplane and go into Baku International Airport. The same steel benches await you.
All carry-on bags must be taken with you off the plane, and after a wait of about half an hour everyone must go back through a security check-point to get back on the plane.
There are two theories about the Baku on-off ritual. One is that it’s intended to steer traffic to a duty free shop and a souvenir stand. The other — more likely — scenario is that a member of the family of the president of Azerbaijan has been given a lucrative contract to provide security services at the airport.
About three and a half hours later, you’ve arrived at London’s Heathrow Airport, the busiest airport on earth and one which is highly conscious about security.
Because you have to change terminals to catch a flight to the U.S., you’ll face your fourth security check of the day. This one involves a long, long line because of the volume of passengers. In front of you, a weary 3-year-old breaks down into tears.
You know how he feels.
Finally, after emptying your pockets again, maybe taking off your shoes, and possibly getting patted down, you’re ready to enter the new terminal.
When your flight is finally called, you scurry to the appropriate gate where you encounter — you guessed it — another security check-point.
This one is used on a random basis, involving a system beyond the ken of mere mortals. Some folks breeze through; others are forced to do everything but stand on one foot and whistle “Dixie.”
Finally, you’re homeward bound. Another eight and a half hours and you should stumble out into Chicago’s O’Hare Airport.
There, everything goes smoothly. A customs official catches your eye. “Frequent traveler?” he asks. You nod, and he points you to a booth marked “military” which has no waiting line.
“Just salute or limp when you go through,” he says.
Immigration and customs cleared, with your checked bags momentarily re-claimed before they’re handed back to the airline, you hit security again.
The checked bags have to be unlocked and opened and examined before they can board a flight to Dayton, Ohio. No problem, but when you arrive as an international passenger at O’Hare and want to get to Dayton, you have to change terminals.
Which means: Another security checkpoint.
This is maybe the fifth or sixth of the day, but you’re lucky. There are no lines, which is unusual. O’Hare can be a bottleneck at times.
It’s late at night when you touch down in Dayton. Because of time zone changes, it’s been one long, long day.
And when you go to claim your bags, you find, to no one’s surprise, that they’re missing. Stuck in Chicago thanks to that extra security check.
Don’t worry. They’ll arrive the next day.
And inside, you’ll find a nice note from the transportation security folks who inspected your dirty clothes and souvenirs.
Are we feeling secure yet?
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