Mom upset over 4-H incident (7/22/04)

All 4-H adult leaders agree to and sign a form called “Adult Behavioral Expectations.” This form states that 4-H adult volunteers (as well as others involved in 4-H leadership) will “Conduct myself in a courteous, respectful manner, exhibit good sportsmanship and demonstrate reasonable conflict management skills.”

As a parent of three children, all of whom have been very active in 4-H, I have been involved in Jay County 4-H for more than 18 years and have seen some minor problems come and go. The last couple of years I have been upset with the adult leadership of the Jay County 4-H program, but have chosen (until now) to keep my opinions for myself. I wanted to give the adult leaders the opportunity to succeed.

However, I was appalled at what happened at the Jay County Fairgrounds on June 27. Unfortunately, this was not an isolated incident.

During a rabbit club function at the fairgrounds, a teenager, who is a current and active Jay County 4-H Rabbit Club member, was distributing flyers with information regarding a “youth” rabbit show at this year’s Pennville Legion-Lions Fair. This rabbit show is open to 4-Hers and non-4-Hers from any county.

Participation in this show not only allows the youth to have fun showing their rabbits, but also gives them the opportunity to interact with youth from other counties.

The 4-H member passing out flyers at the June 27 event at the fairgrounds was informed by an adult leader that she could not pass out the flyers and should get back the ones she had already distributed. I do not know the reason for this, or if any reason was given.

I can only guess the reason was the flyers stated the Pennville show is a “Youth/4-H Rabbit Show.” The Penn-ville show is NOT sponsored by any 4-H club, and (in hindsight) perhaps the flyer should have said “Open to 4-H members,” rather than possibly giving the impression that it is a 4-H sponsored show.

Meanwhile, the Jay County 4-H Council president (who was not at the fairgrounds) was called. Very quickly he arrived at the fairgrounds and stated the flyers should not be passed out. Prior to his arriving at the fairgrounds, the 4-H member giving out the flyers stopped doing so, and the remaining flyers were put away.

The mother of one of the 4-H rabbit club members (who previously was a Jay County 4-H adult leader) had been talking with the council president, disagreeing with his decision about the flyers. This mother had also been passing out the flyers, and for many years she has been active in the Pennville rabbit show. Although I was present, I did not hear any loud yelling, arguing, etc. However, it appeared to me the council president made very little, if any, attempt to calmly and reasonably resolve the situation (or, as stated in the 4-H Adult Behavioral Expectations form, to “demonstrate reasonable conflict management skills.”) I got the impression that what he said was “law” and was not open to discussion. Several of the young 4-H members, as well as several parents, were present and saw what was going on.

For reasons unknown to me, very soon the council president called the Jay County Sheriff’s Department and soon a deputy arrived at the fairgrounds. Understandably, many people (including several 4-H members) became quite disturbed at what was happening; some upset to the point of crying. I was present, and only saw the deputy speak with the council president. I did not see him speak to anyone else, and the deputy then left.

What kind of example do incidents like this set for our youth?

The reason for my writing this letter is the problems between adults involved in the 4-H club should never escalate to the point that the sheriff is called to a 4-H function. I consider it unthinkable that conflict between adult members of 4-H would get to the point that the sheriff was called.

It is unbelievable, and unacceptable, to me that any adult 4-H leader, including the 4-H Council president, would not want every child to have any opportunity to learn and gain experience by participating in multiple shows and having their animals judged, especially a show in our own county that does not conflict with the Jay County club in any way. In my opinion, it is the duty and responsibility of the leaders to inform 4-H members of any and all opportunities available to them.

This was not the first time this year for the rabbit club adult leaders to not allow information about the Pennville show to be dispersed to 4-H members, even though in previous years the information was included in the 4-H rabbit club calendar. My daughter, who is vice-president of the rabbit club, wanted to announce at the last club meeting about the Pennville show. She was told by the adult leaders, “We’re not allowed to talk about it.” Not allowed by whom? And for what reason?

Being a 4-H member is much more than simply showing animals or completing a project. 4-H teaches life skills, like responsibility, cooperation, initiative, being respectful, getting along with others, common sense, motivation, and “reasonable conflict management skills.”

One of the saddest things about the conflict at the fairgrounds on June 27 was when I heard some of the 4-Hers say things like “why don’t they just get along” and “this isn’t fun anymore.” Everyone needs to understand that if our 4-H kids don’t like what is happening in our county, they have every right to join 4-H clubs in other counties. Or worse yet, they will quit 4-H. For so many reasons I hope this does not happen, but if the adults do not get their act together soon, I have no doubt that there will be several Jay County kids quit our club and join rabbit clubs in other counties. What a horrible shame that would be — our kids “leave” our county programs because the adults cannot get along with each other.

I for one have tried to be patient and continued to hope the many problems within the Jay County 4-H Rabbit Club (which have been apparent for several years) could be resolved, but I now believe that is simply not going to happen and immediate changes are necessary.

Recently there have been major changes in management of the rabbit club. Although I was not pleased with the change in leaders and the new rules and regulations they instituted, I very much hoped the new leaders would keep their personal commitment to nurture the positive growth and development of the 4-H youth. I also hoped the rabbit club would continue to thrive and grow, all to the benefit of the 4-Hers. I now believe that is simply not going to happen, because some adult leaders and especially the 4-H council president appear, in my opinion, to be unwilling to work together with others in the rabbit club so there can be harmony within the club.

Sadly, the 4-H youth of our county are the ones who will continue to suffer if changes are not immediately made.

I totally understand the Pennville show is not a 4-H sanctioned show, but so what? It does not interfere with the Jay County 4-H Rabbit Club in any way. Being in this show gives the kids a chance to learn by participating in a contest prior to the county fair, have their animals judged, and to spend time with kids from other counties with similar interests. What is wrong with that?

I completely understand that adult leaders have a very difficult job, and sometimes must make unpopular decisions. Such is life. But calling the sheriff to a 4-H function because adults have disagreements is totally unacceptable. Adults having serious conflict in the open, right in front of our youth, is just not what 4-H is all about. Plus, the apparent unwillingness of adults to work together for what I believe is good for our youth is absolutely not the basis upon which 4-H is built.

The 4-H pledge states:

“I pledge my head to clearer thinking; my heart to greater loyalty; my hands to larger service; and my health to better living for my club, my community, my county and my world.”

Perhaps it is time for the adult leaders of the Jay County 4-H Club to re-commit to the “adult behavioral expectations” and, most importantly, to the 4-H pledge.

I definitely believe is is time for Jay County parents and the 4-H council to stand up for 4-H members.

LaDonna Caster

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