What to say to a Marine

To the editor:

I am a military mom; a very proud military mom.  My son is a Marine and my daughter is a Soldier. They both joined the military to serve their country. Both of them were deployed to Iraq and my son is a double Purple Heart Recipient. 

After reading Rachelle Haughn's column last night regarding her cousin joining the Marines, I felt like a response needed to be written. I am sure she will miss him this summer. Anytime a family member embarks on a different chapter in their life, things usually are never the same.  Especially when that chapter involves the military. 

I am sorry she will not be able to go fishing with him this summer and that she missed him at Easter. Most of all, I am sorry that she wishes he had not joined the Marine Corps. For that reason alone, I am glad she has not written him, especially while he is at boot camp. The last thing he needs to hear is how miserable she is at home. 

What he needs to hear is how proud his family is of his decision. He needs to hear that his family will support him on his decision and be there for him through the good and the bad. He doesn't need to hear how she felt when she attended a Marine's funeral or how she thinks the military rips families apart. 

I am sure he is well aware of the dangers of his chosen path, just as every police officer and firefighter realize the dangers of their jobs even here at home. 

And yes, there will be times during boot camp when he wishes he had not enlisted; they all have that moment.

But that passes and upon graduation from training, it will be the proudest moment of his life. I sincerely hope that she will be able to share in those feelings of pride and accomplishment. 

As to why someone would voluntarily join the military, maybe she should ask someone who has been there. And she should be thankful to each and every one of them that she has the freedom to ask that question. I know I am. 

Want to know what a true hero is? Just ask me about my children. 

A proud military mom,

Bonnie Taylor

Portland

Thankful

To the editor:

I read the column (April 23) about not knowing what to write to your cousin and a few things just struck me as a little odd. The first was about going to a Marine's funeral and telling your cousin about it and then have the Commander rip it up.

It makes me feel that you think they would rip his rights away to receive a letter from family who may not agree with his decision to enlist. I am the wife of a military career man. My husband served 20 years in the United States Air Force and I am proud of him.

It wasn't always easy but we had another family to lean on "the military family" - people who where missing their family and friends back home. People who were seeing their husband or dad's go away, but who stood proud as they knew it was an honor to serve our country to give us the right to think for ourselves to be anything we want to.

As a spouse you have to be just as strong as the military member themselves. You have to make sure they know you can handle affairs while they are away so they can do their job. It isn't easy but it is worth every sleepless night you may have because you know it is a calling. It takes a special person who can give himself or herself for others to have a peaceful sleep every night.  So you see when you write the "military sometimes rip's families apart," it makes me remember how our families back home and our military family were all holding us together as one big family.

The next and last statement that confused me was "voluntarily give up your life." I do not understand how you think enlisting means giving up your life. Yes the military decides where home is for a while, but with a lot of jobs you sometimes have to leave the comforts of home for a career. And yes, we missed out on family gatherings and births and spending time with family who passed while we where away. My husband and I still came home on leave and kept in touch with family by letters, phone calls and e-mail. We also experience life together and have friends whom we would have never made if we hadn't left home. 

We are now back home after 20 years and a lot has changed in Jay County. It is hard to adjust to civilian life but you are glad to be back with family. But to me the military isn't giving up your life; it's a different choice in life. A choice to serve your country; to give of yourself without asking anything in return but the freedom for all to live life as they feel is best.

So my advice to you is to write to your cousin and tell him just how much you miss him and how fishing sure isn't going to be the same this year. Tell him you love him that you are proud of him. There is no need to sugar coat anything for him. He knows how hard it is to leave home and family behind. But he did this and he should hold his head high and proud.

 Angela Clevenger

 Dunkirk

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