Friend’s wedding used as preparation

There are so many things to love about being a bridesmaid.
It’s an opportunity to be part of the bride’s entourage in picking out “the one” — meaning the dress, not the man.
It gives a valid excuse for someone who is single to look at bridal magazines and Pinterest boards for wedding ideas without seeming desperate and lonely.
It also produces bonding between the women and the bride (especially if there’s extensive planning of a killer bachelorette party.)
Or that’s what I expected when I was asked by my good friend to be part of her bridal party.
I regard my position with great reverence because I know it will be just one of a few instances I’ll be asked to be part of such a momentous day. As a person with just a few bosom friends and two sisters with no plans to have ceremonies, my opportunities for a role as bridesmaid are few.
But what I’m finding is wedding planning, which is often portrayed as an easy venture, in reality is some of the most testing and stressful times in a person’s life. Dealing with the diverse personalities of friends and family and their corresponding input on everything from the dresses to the flowers to the venues is exhausting. I’m tired, and all I do is hear it secondhand from the bride. And there’s still six months until the ceremony takes place.
Luckily, she thrives off of managing people — she’s a former college newspaper editor — with an innate ability to influence others without any condescension. (It makes me glad one day she’ll be helping me to plan my own wedding, using her wizardry to my benefit.)
And I’m using her bouts of drama as a sort of training exercise for ceremonies, including my own, that I may be a part of in the future. From sitting down and telling members of the family that they won’t be part of the reception’s band to choosing the number of people in the bridal party and playing out how that will ultimately make or break friendships, the happiest day of your life produces some of the hardest decisions.
It’s more than making cutesy do-it-yourself projects and procuring the best reception DJ.
It’s a lot of work that takes a lot of cooperation from a lot of different groups — families, the bridal party, additional friends and then vendors.
The process almost plays out like a test. The biggest trial for whether a couple will last is how they handle the months leading up to the ceremony. If a couple can survive it and still like each other, congratulations, here’s the wedding certificate.
It’s a test I hope to pass someday, but for now, I’ll just keep a pen and notepad at the ready for when a bridesmaid decides she doesn’t like the color of her dress.