Please don't rain on his parade

Chances are, that was me you saw walking backwards the other day in the Fourth of July parade.

I’ve been doing it for years.

If anyone has ever kept track of backwards mileage on Portland’s Meridian Street, my guess is that I hold the record.

There have just been that many parades.

One summer, not that long ago, nearly all of those assignments ended up in my lap.

Homecoming parades, Fourth of July parades, festival parades, you name it, I was probably in attendance, walking backwards as usual.

Why backwards? Because that’s the best way to get the best photographs, particularly if you’re trying to get the Marching Patriots in action.

A typical Fourth finds me at the football field at East Jay Middle School about an hour before the start of the parade. That’s where we take the group photos of the Jay County High School band for the annual newspaper supplement.

And while it’s sometimes a well-oiled machine, there are other years when unforeseen complications arise.

Like rain.

Band members like to arrange themselves by section for their group shot, and that means some kids are down on their knees. 

That’s not where you want to be if it’s muddy or — as happened a few years back — the football field has just been mowed and grass clippings are as abundant as mosquitoes at a cookout.

Still, with the amazing help of the band staff and band volunteers, it always works out.

I get the pictures, trying to align things so the musicians don’t have to squint into the sun, and the staff gathers up the names for the photo captions.

Sometimes it works. Sometimes it doesn’t.

Squinting and shadows are the biggest enemies, but at that time of day — with the parade set to step off at 11 a.m. — there’s not much you can do.

Some sections, it turns out, are better than others. The big brass tends to have its act together. Others sometimes seem clueless. And the percussion session? They’re determined that they should look intimidating and glowering every year.

Why? I have no clue. Ask a drummer.

Once the photo session is done, it’s time for the parade and my backwards march down the main drag of the county seat.

It’s great for stretching out your legs, but I wouldn’t recommend it every day.

My tips for photographing a parade — in case you want to fill in for me on the next Fourth of July — are pretty simple:

•Keep moving.

•Keep thinking.

•Keep an eye on the background. (That’s a nice McDonald’s sign you have there, but was that the point of the photo assignment?)

•Move through the parade itself from one side to the other. Think of yourself as a ninja, invisible in your surroundings.

•Use a variety of lenses or a variety of settings if you have a good zoom lens. I zip from a wide-angle to a telephoto and back and forth all the time.

•Don’t let people pose for you. Sometimes a parade participant will actually stop so you can take his or her photo. That can screw up the entire parade, so don’t encourage it.

•Get names when you can. In a perfect world, every newspaper photo would come with a caption that identifies everyone. We do not live in a perfect world. But try anyway.

•Bend your knees. Crouch down. Kneel. You’ll find an entirely new perspective and it might provide some relief from all that backwards walking.

•Don’t just focus on the parade. The people along the sides of the street are just as photogenic and entertaining.

•When candy is thrown in your direction, make sure a nearby kid gets it.

•Make sure you take pictures from both sides of the street in order to get different angles, and when you’ve walked a few blocks backwards, start moving the other way for another view. If you do this correctly, it will look as if seven people were taking pictures of the parade for the paper, not just one.

And, finally, when you get back home after downloading your pictures and sending the band group shots off for identification, do yourself a favor: Put your feet up.