Missing home

John Young choked up.

He’d just been asked if there was a message he’d like to send back to the Jay County community.

“I choke easily,” he said after a few minutes of emotional silence.

Quietly this fall, with no fanfare, John and Gretchen Young moved away from the community they’ve called home for the past 60 years.

A combination of health issues, age and the realities of living in a rural setting in a house with a long lane convinced them they had to make the move.

And if they had any hesitation, their children did not.

“Melissa and Kevin have a lot to do with why we’re here,” said John, referring to daughter Melissa and her husband Kevin Schmidt.

“Here” is The Hearth at Tudor Gardens, a retirement community in Zionsville.

But home is likely to always be Jay County.

The couple met when they were students at Earlham College in Richmond. It was 1953. Gretchen was a freshman, John a couple of years older. His sister introduced them, and that was that.

In 1957, after Gretchen’s graduation, they were married and moved — not to Portland — but to San Antonio, Texas.

John had been working on his master’s degree at Princeton University when he was drafted into the army. That meant a move to Texas, where he was able to complete his graduate degree at Trinity University while in the service.

The move to Jay County came in 1959, and it did not begin well.

House-sitting while his family was on vacation, the couple was on their way to Muncie in the family car when they were involved in a serious traffic accident.

It was the era before seatbelts. Gretchen hit the windshield. John was nearly impaled by the steering wheel.

“We spent the first week at the hospital,” said John.

That stay is one of the reasons that Jay County Hospital (now IU Health Jay) is an especially important local institution — along with First Presbyterian Church, Arts Place, and The Portland Foundation — for the Youngs. And their support for those institutions continues today.

Once out of the hospital, John joined The Jay Garment Company, working closely with his father R. Dwight Young. Gretchen taught biology and mathematics locally for a few years, then concentrated on raising their family, daughters Melissa, Rebecca and Jennifer, and son David.

Along the way, they continued to build a record of public service.

Gretchen served 10 years as a board member of The Portland Foundation and led an effort to professionalize the scholarship selection process there.

John, meanwhile, served as president of Portland Rotary Club, teamed up with Rob Weaver to spearhead the fundraising effort for Portland Water Park and led the push to get the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers focused on flood control issues related to the Salamonie River.

He also served for many years as a trustee at Earlham and on the board of Conner Prairie, the living history museum not far from their new apartment in Zionsville.

And then there was their church. Both served in numerous leadership positions, Gretchen most recently as church treasurer. And both sang in the choir.

It was a great life.

But time has a way of catching up.

In April, Gretchen had a stroke.

“It was a very, very little one,” she said. “It affected my left eye.”

“It also affected her stability,” said John.

Falls and fractures followed. A pelvic fracture sent Gretchen to rehabilitation at Miller’s Merry Manor in Dunkirk this summer. The rehab was successful, but the risks remained and the falls continued.

Meanwhile, John was beginning to feel the years as well.

“I put in a big garden this year, and it was a disaster,” he said. His back was bothering him, and a knee was giving him trouble.

Living in the five-bedroom, five-bath house they’d custom built on county road 200 South in the 1970s, with a long lane connecting them to the road, they knew they were facing serious life changes.

“It was torturous. … There were so many options,” John recalled. “All those things got seriously discussed. … We knew we would have to do it sometime. … The time was right.”

Their children were an integral part of that discussion of “what should we do,” said John.

Son David made clear his opinion.

“He just wanted us to be happy,” John said, adding, “I can’t say we’re there yet.”

But they are adjusting.

Downsizing to a two-room apartment has been a tremendous challenge.

“We never threw anything away,” said John. “We have stuff.”

He was inclined to let things go, but Gretchen had strong opinions about hanging onto things.

“She won more battles than I did,” said John.

They settled on the Hearth because of its proximity to Kevin and Melissa. But daughters Rebecca and Jennifer are also in the neighborhood in Carmel and Fishers.

The retirement community has its own medical staff through St. Vincent’s Hospital. That has already come in handy because of another fall on Gretchen’s part and the physical therapy that has followed.

Though the apartment has a kitchenette, the couple has access to three meals a day in the dining room. That comes in handy, said John, “because neither of us are great in the kitchen.”

“The transition is not an easy one to put it mildly,” said John, mentioning how much they miss their Jay County friends. But, not surprisingly, he’s already become involved in some committee meetings at the Hearth.

One thing that won’t be the same with the move to Zionsville: The holidays.

The Youngs have traditionally hosted their extended family on Thanksgiving and even more at Christmastime. It wasn’t unusual to have all four kids and their spouses and 14 grandchildren and six great-grandchildren on hand.

“Christmas has always been the big gathering,” said John. “We slept 30.”

There were bunk beds in the attic to accommodate as many as possible.

This year, the family celebration will be at the Hearth. Space has already been reserved.

And as to that advice to his community that John choked up on: “It’s just this, don’t stop trying to solve the big problems.”