Whatever happened to that guy?

To the editor:

I enjoy reading Jack Ronald's occasional columns about his sometimes misspent youth. I find his writing witty and often relative to some of my own experiences as well. 

I had a classmate in high school named Dumber, his full named was Dumber Than a Box of Rocks, but most folks just addressed him as Dumb or Dumber. 

Dumber decided during our senior year in high school to run for class president. He had the support of 42-43% of students who were known as the Stupid Is As Stupid Does coalition. 

Ole Dumber beguiled them with his promise to make our high school great again. He further promised to keep any students from the South Mexicali high school from coming to or enrolling in Bigot High. 

(The irony of that promise lost on his supporters ostensibly in as much as every student at Bigot High were themselves, from another district.) 

Dumber was widely known to be a prodigious prevaricator, his skill in the art of perfidy was legendary. He was of dubious moral character as well. It was widely rumored during our senior year that Dumber had a tryst with two cheerleaders during the homecoming football game. (Under the bleachers of all places!) 

I was led to believe by someone who would know, that Dumber was somewhat of a Lothario and was accused by several young ladies of taking indecent liberties with them.

Dumber was of questionable integrity as well as he was prone to self aggrandizement. He pledged that perhaps his presidency would be the greatest in the history of high school presidencies, and possibly the greatest in all the world. 

Hyperbole was no stranger to Dumber's lexicon. I always wondered what happen to Ole Dumber, I heard he had several failed business ventures and had to borrow money from his Dad quite often. 

Last I heard Dumber was running a brothel in Las Vegas with a business partner named Crazy as a Loon, and thinking about running for public office.

We just might see ole Dumber on television someday.

Michael S. Kinser

Portland