Substance rises above superficial

To the editor:

The setting was nearly perfect for my evaluation of this minor dilemma of singer versus song. 

Although rendering a solution came with ease, the below details are absent of any intrigue. But it’s laced with traces of twisted humor and therefore worthy of intense commentary as I “solve” this curious debate.

Decades ago, we dropped anchor in Naples, Italy, harbor and several of us migrated to the Marina Mercantile Circolo (Italian merchant marine club). The name is proper indication (warning) it was not a white-tie establishment nor even a lesser black-tie requirement. A rabies shot would have been a more appropriate necessity. 

Entry was initially intimidating but our apprehension soon dissipated as all of us were followers of the sea. Merchant seamen (civilians) ply their trade moving cargo while U.S. Navy sailors roam the oceans in a more aggressive profession. Certainly not quite in league with the great Biblical flood, the alcohol flow was immense and deserving of entry in historical journals. 

Two female vocalists provided entertainment. The first singer was naturally adorned with impressive enhanced features and attributes that can only be described as grandiosely bestowed. But her vocal performance greatly contaminated her striking profile. The lady’s voice was a great example of an enormous catastrophic endeavor. Two loaded trucks colliding — one carrying hogs the other empty milk cans — would have produced a much-improved sound.

The second vocalist’s appearance and performance were extremely opposite her colleague’s and worthy of a Guinness mention. Her hair resembled collateral damage from a steel wool plant disaster and her applied makeup the result of standing too close to a paint factory explosion. A greater example of self-inflicted cosmetic cruelty had yet to be discovered. I indirectly referred to her as a melancholy baby, which was fitting if not proper. She possessed the body of a melon and a face like a collie with the sex appeal of a burned-out jeep.

But unlike her counterpart, our second vocalist was richly blessed with vocal talent that lent beauty to her physical being. Singing in her native tongue did not diminish our profound admiration. An extended longevity gap prevented the opportunity for a center stage appearance before Simon Cowell and his “Got Talent” team, which no doubt would have erupted in thunderous applause. Performing in a cappella mode was certainly her forte. Changing to an alternate format would only delude her purity of voice and deprive her listeners of superb talent. 

Talent minus beauty should always reign supreme over ill quality rendition of any musical event no matter how great its content.

It's the singer.

Respectfully

Roy Leverich

Portland